


A Carry On Movie

by kayla96k



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayla96k/pseuds/kayla96k
Summary: Simon Snow and Baz Grimm Pitch have been cast to star as the leads in a new movie, Carry On. The only problem is that they can't stand each other and in the movie they eventually fall in love. Simon doesn't really like acting, but since the death of his mother and the shocking reunion with his celebrity father as a child, he has worked hard as an actor to maintain the family name. Baz likes acting, but not in the kinds of movies his overbearing father pushes on him. Still, Baz can't help but feel like he needs to impress him, especially since the controversial death of his mother. So Simon and Baz decide to work together, regardless of their tense past. But as they act out their characters' romance, they begin to wonder if the feelings they have are just for the camera or maybe something more.





	1. The Audition

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this story. One day I was thinking about how much I would love a Carry On movie to happen and then I thought up this AU. I'll try to update every week :) Tell me what you think!

**Baz**

Baz sat impatiently in the limo as his father barked orders at his agent on his cellphone. He was uncomfortable and annoyed, being in the United States was one of his least favorite job requirements, especially when it meant going to Los Angeles in California. As a celebrity, Baz was required to travel away from his home in Hampshire, England quite a bit, and when it came to movie premieres and auditions Baz often found himself in his least favorite place: Hollywood.

They were on their way back from the airport to a hotel room. Baz had a few auditions lined up for him over the next couple of weeks, all in the southern California area. A few he had been preparing for the past couple of months, indie flicks that he had personally chosen. Most, however, had been lined up by his father and agent; blockbuster potential films that Baz had no interest in starring in.

He knew that in the end he would end up doing whatever his father told him to do, his addiction to his father’s approval being as strong as it was. But he liked the idea that he might find a way to fit one of the indie films into his schedule, as he was sometimes able to.

His father hung up his phone and muttered something to the driver, who turned in the opposite direction of their hotel.

“Um, dad?” Baz asked.

“I just got a call from Dev, he was able to squeeze you in on the list to audition for a movie he’s pretty sure will be a hit,” His father said.

“Right now?” Baz asked, somewhat alarmed.

“Yes right now,” He said, irritated by having to repeat himself.

“But dad we haven’t even unpacked…I don’t even have the script,” Baz said.

His dad snorted.

“You’re a professional, just read off the lines and bring on the chemistry. I’ve sent the script over email, just practice with your phone.”

Baz rolled his eyes but decided not to argue.

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out his phone and opened the email notification his father had just sent him. As the script downloaded, he read the overall synopsis his father had hastily written in the body of the email.

“ _Carry On_? That’s the name of it?” Baz asked.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” His father asked.

“Just sounds kind of stupid. Reminds me of that ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ crap I see everyone wear,” Baz mumbled.

“Well it’s a big fantasy movie, magicians and dragons and other nonsense like that. Sounds like it’ll make a lot of money,” His father said.

“I’m sorry, did you say _magicians?'_ Baz asked.

His father glanced up at him and glared.

“Yes it’s dorky, yes it isn’t up your alley, but son, do you remember _Harry Potter_? I don’t even need you to answer that, because of course you do. It’s one of the biggest fucking deals of the century. Fantasy makes money,” His father explained, thin patience in his voice.

Baz looked out the window so he could hide his dissatisfaction. He knew his father wanted him to make money, to live up to the legacy his mother had created for him. But his mother had done beautiful movies, important ones. Baz had made quite a bit of money over his acting career, maybe even more than his mother had, but they weren’t very good movies. A ton of teen dramas, a couple of stupid comedies, and even a romantic comedy where he’d played the lead’s best friend. None of these movies had ever made him happy, but they’d come with a lot more of a paycheck than the indie films he preferred making.

“I just don’t see how I’m supposed to take being a magician seriously. Who am I supposed to think about when I audition? Fucking Merlin?” He asked.

His father shrugged.

“If Daniel Radcliffe can do it, then you can do it,” His father said.

Baz sighed.

“Fine, am I auditioning by myself today?” Baz asked.

His father perked up considerably.

“No actually, so you’ll need to prepare to do some lines and maybe even a kiss scene,” His father said.

Baz tensed.

As an actor, he didn’t have a problem doing kissing scenes. He’d even had to do a love scene in his last indie film. At twenty years old, he was not shy in front of the camera, having been filmed all of his life. But kissing scenes always reminded him that he was only capable of that, kissing in scenes. He’d never had an actual relationship, only faked them with costars like his father asked him to. Sure, in the media he’d had at least six girlfriends before, but they had all been fake and for the publicity. Being gay, Baz had never been able to start something real with any of those girls.

His father didn’t care that Baz was gay so long as he pretended to date his co-stars. But he also didn’t want Baz to come out, saying that his celebrity status was still too fragile to handle the media frenzy that would ensue. He insisted that it was harder to get roles and that he wasn’t sure Baz could take the cruelty of the public. He knew his father was doing all of this to take care of him in his own fucked up sort of way. But it didn’t change the fact that it _his_ sexuality, not his father’s. He was the one who should decide whether or not he could handle the world’s reaction. But he couldn’t shake the need to do as his father asked him, whatever the cost, so he kept these thoughts to himself.

“I should mention that they already picked the lead you’ll be auditioning with,” His father said.

“Okay, that’s not a big deal. Who is she?” Baz asked.

“Well, they aren't a she actually. It’s a romance between two young men. I figured that might, I don’t know, appeal to you or something.”

“I’ve done films with male romance interests before Dad,” Baz said, annoyed.

“Okay so…I was hoping that part would appeal to you because I know you’re not going to be happy with who they cast,” His father said.

“Who is it?” Baz asked, narrowing his eyes.

His father straightened his tie and glanced out the window. From the way the car was slowing, Baz could tell they had arrived at the audition. His father would not let him argue against auditioning regardless of whom he was going to potentially work with. He had purposefully waited until the last possible minute to tell Baz the bad news, knowing how his son would react.

“Well, it’s Simon Snow,” His father said.

 _“Simon fucking Snow?”_ Baz asked, fury curling in his gut.

Then they were out on the sunny sidewalk and rushing to make it to an audition Baz no longer felt like walking into.

**Simon**

Simon felt like he might pass out from exhaustion. He had already suffered through six auditions with actors he knew would not get the part and he had been scheduled last minute to do one more. If this last minute actor didn’t get the part, then he knew he would have to suffer through another round of auditions until they found the right guy. Simon hated acting.

His father, a producer of the film, sat with the director and casting crew. He had insisted on being there for the auditions. His father liked to be in control of Simon’s life, which was weird considering he had only become a part of it in the last nine years of it.

When his mother had died from cancer, Simon had been left with nowhere to go. His mother’s family had cut ties with her when she’d become pregnant and he’d never known who his father was. Then, out of the blue, the celebrity David Snow had appeared at his doorstep and announced himself to be Simon’s biological father. He had decided to raise Simon and told him Simon was coming to live with him in his swanky penthouse. After only a few days with his new father, in his new house, Simon had gone to his first audition on his father’s insistence. The rest, as was so commonly said, had been history.

Now he was a marginally successful actor who was set to play Sam, an abandoned magician who was destined to save the World of Mages. Beau, his vampire enemy and roommate, was his eventual romantic interest. The story was surprisingly interesting to Simon; he felt that his character was in many ways similar to him. They had both lost quite a bit, had both been thrown into a career path they hadn't asked for, and they both weren’t sure if they could carry on the legacy they had been given.

He wasn’t so sure why Sam eventually fell for Beau however. Beau’s character was rude, snarky, and a bit twisted. Simon was almost certain that he could never fall for a person like that.

“You’re doing great Simon,” Rhys said, “Just one more audition and then we’ll be done for the day.”

“Yeah, okay,” Simon said.

“Who’s coming in next?” His father asked.

“Basilton Grimm Pitch,” Gareth read out.

Before Simon could protest, Baz himself burst through the door, his expression matching the anger burning in Simon’s chest.

Baz was not someone Simon ever wanted to work with, let alone practice a romantic scene with. He was a spoiled, rich, and cruel person who Simon had a tumultuous past with.

Baz’s mother’s reputation had been ruined when she had driven drunk and crashed when Baz had been only a toddler. Simon’s father had been in the passenger seat and survived, though he’d suffered massive injuries. Baz’s mother had not been so fortunate, having died on impact. Nobody knew why they’d been in a car together that night. Simon’s father had claimed he couldn't remember anything from the day of the crash because of his injuries.

The drunk driving incident had cast a shadow on the Pitch family name and though Simon had not even known David Snow was his father during that time, Baz hated him for it. In his eyes, because David had milked the media attention so much after the accident, he had made Baz’s mother into a monster. After Simon had emerged in his first few films Baz had tweeted that he felt Simon’s acting was coarse and awkward, bashing any role he appeared in. Then, two years ago at a Christmas party, Baz had drunkenly attacked Simon, yelling that his family had ruined his life. A fistfight ensued and became the media sensation of the winter season that year.

Simon didn’t feel guilty for a past he had no connection to, but Baz certainly tempted him to feel that way every time they interacted.

But he couldn’t say anything with his father in the room. After the fight at the Christmas part his father had insisted that Simon ignore him as best as possible. Considering ignoring Baz was not currently a choice, Simon figured his father would expect him to tolerate his presence, at the very least.

“So you guys are just going to read through the scene and end after the kiss,” Ebb said.

Ebb Petty was a director that Simon had worked with before and actually liked quite a bit. It was for her that Simon calmed down enough to play nice when he spoke.

“All right. Sounds good,” Simon said.

“Then you two may begin when you’re ready,” Ebb said, “Start from ‘Seriously go.’”

There was a short pause before Baz began.

“Seriously go. This fire isn’t for you,” Baz said, his voice filled with a surprising amount of authenticity.

Simon stepped forward, knowing he couldn’t hesitate when acting out the scene, regardless of how much he hated Baz. He grabbed at his sleeves, pulling desperately.

“That’s right, it can’t be. You always said you’d make sure there was an audience when you finished me off. Come on.”

Simon pulled harder, knowing Baz didn’t have a line yet. Then, feeling completely uncomfortable, Simon lifted Baz’s chin.

“Beau.”

“Go away Sam,” Baz said, his face defeated.

“You’re not a monster. I was wrong. All those years. You’re a bully. And a snob. And a complete arsehole. But you’re not one of them.”

Baz jerked away but let Simon hold him in place for the purpose of the scene. Simon felt a flicker of worry as he realized that everyone watching was quiet. They seemed hooked. Baz was doing better than any of the other actors had done. Simon worried that Baz might actually get the part.

“This is what I deserve,” Baz said.

“Well, it isn’t what I deserve,” Simon said.

And it really wasn’t what he deserved, this horrible twist of circumstances. He had no desire to work with Basilton Grimm Pitch and it was looking more and more like he would be doing just that.

“Then go,” Baz said.

There was feeling behind the words, as if Baz was trying to tell Simon to leave the audition, to say he couldn’t possibly work with Baz and ruin the entire scene. Baz didn’t want to be there either, but that wasn’t surprising.

“I won’t. I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.”

They were close, only a few inches of space between them. The scene actually belonged on the ground but they didn’t really have the props to pull that off. So Simon had to shift forward a bit while standing.

“Sam…” Baz said, eyelashes fluttering.

Simon kissed him, knowing he had to go all out. Even if Baz didn’t want to get this part, Simon had to at least try to act like he wouldn’t mind him as a costar. His father was the only family he had left and if making him proud meant putting up with an asshole like Baz then he would do it, whatever the cost.

Baz stood frozen for a second, whether for the part or because of his own reaction Simon wasn’t sure. But after a second, he kissed him back, anger making the kiss more passionate than any of the other audition kisses had been.

Simon felt himself respond, as if he were in an argument with Baz’s mouth, and suddenly the kiss spun out of control. They were making out, anger and hate spilling into each other’s mouths and sliding across their tongues. Simon’s grip tightened reflexively and he heard Baz growl slightly.

“That's enough boys, thank you,” Ebb said.

Simon ripped himself away from Baz.

Ebb was standing, her eyes wide with awe. All of the others at the table looked similarly blown away, including his father.

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that you got the part Basilton,” Ebb said.

Simon glanced at Baz and met a pair of glaring grey eyes.

“Thank you so much for the opportunity, I’d be glad to take the part,” Baz said.

Simon knew this was a bad idea, knew it but had absolutely no idea how to stop it from happening.

“You sure you two can handle working this closely together? We’re aware there’s a bit of a…tension between the two of you,” Gareth said.

“I’m sure we can make it work,” Simon said.

“I agree,” Baz said, the words brittle.

“Then it’s settled!” Ebb said, clapping excitedly.

Simon turned and shook hands with Baz stiffly.

“Congratulations Baz,” Simon said.

“I look forward to working with you,” Baz said, eyes burning with rage.


	2. Chance Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, it's birthday season in my family so things have been a little hectic. I hope you like this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing Agatha as a movie star lol :)

**Simon**

Simon knocked loudly on his father’s London penthouse. He felt a combination of happiness and exhaustion upon his father’s request for him to come over. Happy because his father tended to forget about him for long periods of time when he had a film gig and exhausted because most of the times he invited Simon over he wanted to discuss film details. Simon appreciated his father’s enthusiasm of his career, but it didn’t make the conversations any less stressful for him.

Filming for _Carry On_ would begin in a month. Simon had been taking the time before filming to try and focus on how he would avoid killing Baz on set. Several fan sites had been gushing over the actors picked to play their favorite book characters, but there was a general anxiety over whether or not Simon and Baz’s drama would spoil the film. While not particularly fond of acting, Simon did like making fans happy and hoped to deliver a performance worthy of his book character counterpart. He had to try to pull it off for the readers who had been waiting years for the characters to come to life, even if it meant choking on his hatred for his costar.

The kiss from the audition flashed unwillingly through Simon’s mind, quickening his pulse unexpectedly. A good kiss for a scene meant very little, Simon knew this, but for some reason he couldn’t kill the memory from his brain. Shaking his head, he attempted to clamp down on his emotions.

The door swung open as David’s agent stepped out angrily. Once he saw Simon he stopped abruptly and narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, _you_. Can’t wait to see how you stir the Snow/Pitch drama pot with your newest project.”

“I’m…sorry?” Simon said, surprised by the hostility in his voice.

“Leave Simon out of this, it’s not his problem,” His father said, appearing in the doorway.

His agent made a noise of disgust.

“You’d better hope he pulls this off, for all of our sakes,” He hissed.

Simon watched, slightly dazed, as his father’s agent stalked off.

“I’m sorry Dad I don’t know what I did,” Simon said.

His father smiled at him.

“Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything. C’mon in, sorry I didn’t hear you knock earlier.”

Simon followed his father into his swanky living room. It always struck Simon as odd that his father liked modern design. It stood in stark contrast to his mother’s own homey taste. Where Lucy Salisbury had liked handmade blankets and tea on the stove, David Snow liked gourmet delivered meals and metal furniture. Simon could never quite work out how they had ever gotten together and he was always too afraid to ask David in order to find out.

Simon sat in a plastic chair that looked more like a sculpture and faced his father.

“So, what’s up Dad?” David smirked.

“It's so strange having your bedroom empty. When you were younger I used to just call you down for a family meeting. Not send for you half a city away.”

Simon frowned. He’d been living away from home since he was eighteen upon his father’s own suggestion. The idea had been for Simon to have some privacy, a place away from work and the public. But his father was acting oddly nostalgic all of a sudden.

“I don’t understand,” Simon said.

David waved him off.

“Oh it’s nothing. Just me blathering on. Anyways, I called you over because I wanted you to know that the salary details have been finalized. This will be your best paying role yet.”

Simon shrugged uncomfortably.

“Um, that’s great,” He said.

“Also, you and all your costars will be staying in the same hotels during filming, probably on the same floor. So I hope you don’t mind sharing close quarters,” His father said.

Simon thought about all the cast hangouts he’d have endure with Baz’s presence and resisted the urge to shudder.

“It’ll be fine. We’re filming in several locations correct?” Simon asked.

His father nodded.

“It’s an American author who wrote the book, but much of the setting is in real British locations. So some of filming will occur on American sound stages and some will happen on location in different places around the UK.”

Simon rubbed his temples tiredly. He was happy that he wouldn’t be stuck filming in the U.S. the entire time but the idea of bouncing between a bunch of set locations didn’t appeal to him much either. Unfortunately, castles and forests appropriate for filming didn’t just pop up conveniently nearby most of the time, so Simon would have to deal with it.

“All right, I guess it’ll be kind of an adventure,” Simon said.

“I’m glad you see it that way.”

His father stood up abruptly.

“Now, I have some other business to attend to so unless you have any other questions, you’re free to go.”

Simon frowned. He never really understood how his father could act warm and interested one minute and then cold and professional the next. It was how it had always been between them, even when he had lived at home.

“No, I’m…fine. I’ll just get going now,” Simon said.

“Fantastic,” His father said, a broad smile on his face.

Simon showed himself out, his father already having forgotten he was there. As he neared the door he heard a loud and intimidating knock on it. He paused, unsure whether or not he should open it or wait for his father to come over. Then the knock repeated, more insistent than the last had been. Simon swallowed nervously and opened the door.

A man dressed all in grey stood in the doorway. He was shorter than Simon but much broader than him. His only visible features were his stone colored eyes, which were emotionless and flat, and his squashed looking nose. Everything else was covered by thick clothing, a heavy scarf, and a hat. Simon looked at the sky curiously and confirmed his own suspicions. It was a very warm and very clear July afternoon, there was absolutely no reason for the man to be dressed so warmly.

“Can I help you?” Simon asked.

“I need to speak with Mr. Snow,” He grumbled.

“Um, who are you?” Simon asked.

The man rolled his eyes.

“Just tell him old Numpty is here to see him, okay kid?”

Simon was about to ask more when his father’s hand came up to clap his shoulder.

“Ah, Numpty! Just and old friend Simon, no reason to look so tense. We’re having lunch together, that’s why I had to get you out of here so fast,” His father said.

From the annoyed expression on Numpty’s face, Simon wasn’t so sure that ‘friend’ was the appropriate word to describe him.

“Um, I guess I’ll be going then. Nice to meet you…Numpty,” Simon said.

The grayish man ignored him and shook a thick yellow envelope in his father’s direction before pushing past him into the doorway.

“Goodbye Simon,” His father said.

Simon stepped out of his father’s house and turned back just in time to have the door slammed in his face. For a minute or so, Simon stood there in shock and wondered if he should call his father for an explanation. But, after a while, Simon just sighed and walked back to his car.

**Baz**

Baz knew his father was talking to him, knew it but couldn’t bring himself to pay attention. His script was on the dining room table, annotated to an extreme degree with notes he had made for himself. Whether he liked his character or not, Baz always made sure to prepare for his role to the best of his ability. He did not believe in doing things halfway.

Flashes of the kiss he’d shared with Simon bloody Snow during their audition kept replaying in his mind. It had been, by far, the hottest kiss he’d ever shared with a costar. And while Baz still hated Simon with a fiery passion, he couldn’t help but remember the hungry way Simon’s lips had pressed against his, the agonizing way his tongue had slid against his own and the pressure of his fingers hotly pressed into his hair.

“Baz are you even listening to me?”

Baz looked up, startled.

“Um, no actually.”

His father frowned tiredly.

“You know, this is exhausting for me too,” His father said.

Baz frowned and bit his nail.

“I know…I’m sorry. I’m just having a difficult time paying attention right now.”

His father looked down at his watch.

“Well it’s fine actually. We need to take a break regardless.”

“Why?” Baz asked.

His father stood.

“Because you have a guest, and if Vera’s voice is any indication I would say she has arrived,” His father said.

Baz trailed after his father, suddenly more alert than he had just been.

“She? Who? And why are we having a guest over?” Baz asked.

“Your costar Agatha Wellbelove expressed interest in meeting both you and Simon Snow. With the love triangle in the movie she figured it would be good to get to know you both.”

“I wouldn’t really call it a love triangle, more like a mess of miscommunication,” Baz grumbled.

“Call it whatever you want, this is your opportunity,” His father said, an excited smile on his face.

“An opportunity for what?” Baz asked, already afraid of the answer.

“To make an arrangement. You’ll be spending quite a bit of time together on and off of set. This is your chance to make a move before Snow.”

“Make a move?” Baz repeated, his voice dripping with disgust.

“Oh you know what I mean. Just pretend you’re interested in her enough so that she gives you her full attention during filming. I’m not asking you to feign an interest in sleeping with her.”

“Christ, Dad,” Baz said.

“I know how you feel about all of this pretending. But it’s going to help the film succeed so just try to be charming.”

Baz had no more time to argue as they had arrived in the parlor. Agatha Wellbelove sat, looking blonde and perfect, poised on the loveseat.

“Agatha Wellbelove here to see you Basilton,” Vera said.

“Thank you Vera,” Baz said neutrally.

Baz could see why his father was so excited by the prospect of his son fake dating her. Agatha was movie star perfection, from her glossy blonde hair to pearly white smile. Baz couldn’t tell if her tan had come from actual time in the sun or from a luxury salon, which he guessed was the point. She was dressed in expensive looking jeans and a periwinkle blue sweater. If you looked past all of the glossed perfection, there was a normal twenty something smiling back at him.

“Oh it’s so good to meet you. My father never shuts up about that forties era film you starred in. You played his favorite character,” Agatha said, jumping up and extending her hand.

Baz smiled. That had been one of his low budget indie films. Most people never complimented him on the roles he had picked out for himself.

He shook her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’ve heard you’re quite the compelling villain on your television show. I might have to check it out for myself.”

She laughed.

“I’m glad you didn’t lie and say that you’ve watched it before.”

Agatha had played a villainous high school cheerleader in a teen drama for the past five years. It wasn’t exactly Baz’s taste, but he could understand the appeal.

His father smiled.

“Well, I’ll just leave you two to it. Baz, remember what I said.”

With that he winked and strode out of the room.

“I feel bad, I didn’t mean to make your father feel like he had to leave,” Agatha said, frowning.

Baz glared at his father’s retreating back.

“Trust me, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Agatha smiled, her eyes softening slightly.

“Well, aren’t you a gentleman.”

Baz spent the next hour discussing the script, gossiping about costars with her (never being too rude of course) and playing his violin. She was a genuinely nice young woman, someone Baz could see himself being friends with easily but he felt guilty all the same. It wasn’t like he was outright leading her on but he was definitely messing with her expectations. They would never be more than costars, even if Baz made things look different in front of the paparazzi.

“Thanks for the play-date, hopefully our parents will arrange another one,” Agatha said, stalking off towards the front door.

Vera was waiting there, Agatha’s cream-colored coat and red purse in hand.

“Of course,” Baz said, smirking a little for her benefit.

“Oh,” Agatha added, “I wanted to ask you something…how hot was that kiss with Simon?”

“What?” Baz asked, completely thrown off guard.

She studied him.

“You two are kind of like…nemeses right? I just figured that must’ve translated well into the scene.”

Baz shrugged, hoping the warmth in his cheeks wasn’t visible.

“I guess it came off as good chemistry.”

“But was it good? The kiss?” Agatha asked.

Baz blew out his breath uncomfortably.

“I guess so. I’ve had better.”

He hadn’t actually.

She shook her head.

“Wow. Getting to kiss Simon Snow. I have to admit I’m a bit jealous,” Agatha said.

Baz felt a surge of hope. Maybe he wouldn’t have to pretend to be interested in her after all.

“Are you?” Baz asked. She smiled knowingly.

“Why do I get the feeling you're relieved? Don’t worry, I like to keep my options open on set,” Agatha said.

Baz laughed.

“I mean I haven’t even met Penny yet. Whose to say the sparks won’t fly with her?” Agatha asked.

“She has an American boyfriend,” Baz said.

Agatha winked.

“That’s never stopped me before,” She whispered.

Then she ran off towards a sleek look car, waving as she got in the car. Baz had to admit it, if he had to be doing a movie with Simon Snow of all people, at least there would be a person as cool as Agatha on set too.


	3. A Tense Meet-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy to have gotten this chapter written. I hope you enjoy it, let me know what you all think <3

**Simon**

Simon stepped into the lobby of the hotel warily, as if Baz could jump out at him at any moment. Realistically he knew Baz was still about an hour away from Los Angeles (Simon followed him on Twitter just to keep tabs on him); still Simon felt like it would be just like Baz to arrive early just to torment him. The hotel had a very clean look to it, modern lines and polished metal. Even after years of working in the movie industry, Simon always expected Californian hotels to all be beach themed with palm trees out front. He was grateful that nobody rushed him for photos or an autograph, the hotel and its guests must have been used to celebrity clients coming in and out.

A girl with long black hair in galaxy leggings turned and smiled at him in the lobby.

“Simon?” She asked, obviously excited.

It took Simon a moment to recognize her.

“Penny?” He said.

She ran across the lobby and threw her arms around him. She smelled like tea and cookies, which meant she had probably just had both. Simon hugged her back tightly, grateful that she was here. He’d known Penny had been cast to play Pamela, but he hadn’t expected to see her so soon, or to be so happy about it.

“I’m so happy you got here first!” Penny said, practically vibrating.

“Me too! I thought you wouldn’t be coming in for a while. For a minute it looked like it would just be me and Baz staying here tonight,” Simon said.

“How could you think I would abandon you like that?” Penny asked.

“You’ve been doing it for what, five years now?” Simon said.

She rolled her eyes.

“When you meet the right person you’ll understand,” Penny said.

“I understand moving in together. I don’t understand moving to America.”  


“Very funny Si, now c’mon catch me up on all the set gossip.”

They had reached the elevator. Simon took the opportunity to study her. She hadn’t gotten any taller, yet there was something unmistakably more mature about the way she carried herself. Simon hadn’t seen her since they had starred together in a teenage musical several years ago. They had kept up their friendship through social media and text messages, but it was so much better to see her in person.

“Penny how could there be any set gossip when we haven’t even begun filming?” Simon asked.

“Well we start filming tomorrow. And I know you have _something_ you can tell me about that emo mess we’re costarring with,” Penny said.

Simon smirked. 

“Actually…” Simon said.

“Tell me, tell me, tell me,” She said.

The elevator opened to their floor. The entire cast had been roomed on the eighth floor so as to give them privacy from the rest of the hotel guests. He shrugged Penny off so that she could put her stuff down in her room next to his and waited for her to come back into his room.

“The gift baskets are fantastic. I am set on cheese and chocolate for life,” Penny said as she walked in.

“No champagne?” Simon asked.

“Twenty-one and over here, remember?” Penny said.

Simon laughed.

Penny bounced on his couch.

“All right, no more stalling. What dirt do you have?”

Simon leaned back in his desk chair and smiled lazily.

“Baz and Agatha Wellbelove have become quite the item,” Simon said.

Penny snapped the piece of chocolate in her mouth loudly, her eyes wide with surprise.

“No way! Already?” Penny said.

“Yup,” Simon said.

“How though? We haven’t even done any early press conferences or anything.”

“They met up at his house, according to my sources. Since then, they’ve been spotted all over Europe hanging out and shopping together,” Simon said.

“Are there any…you know… _other_ pictures?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Um, no. Baz isn’t a PDA kind of guy,” Simon said.

“You are the expert on all things Baz related,” Penny said.

“I am not,” Simon said.

“Um, yeah you are? Why do you think I asked you for the dirt?”

Simon frowned.

“You make it sound like I’m obsessed with him,” Simon said.

“You are,” Penny said, throwing a piece of chocolate in the air and just barely catching it in her mouth, “But it’s cute and serves my nosy tendencies.”

Simon rolled his eyes but knew not to argue. Penny was right about most things and wasn’t afraid to remind him of that. Still, it bothered him that his obsession was so transparent. If Penny could see that he was obsessed, after not having seen her for five years, could Baz tell too?

**Baz**

The limo felt more clichéd then it usually did to Baz as they pulled up at their hotel. With Agatha Wellbelove at his side and all her blonde perfection, Baz was sure he looked like the Celebrity Incarnate coming out of the limo. Or maybe he just looked like an asshole, he couldn’t be sure. Agatha had agreed to share a ride with him, for appearances sake. He hadn’t told her he was gay yet, but he got the feeling that she had figured it out for herself, or at least that she had realized he wasn’t interested in her that way. Still, she had become a very good friend in the last couple of months and Baz was glad not to be alone as he made his way into the hotel.

After checking in they made their way to the elevators. Baz took the opportunity to check Twitter, pretending it wasn’t weird for him to be searching Simon Snow’s profile for updates. Snow had posted a smiling selfie with Penelope Bunce with the caption, ‘Reunited with my film best friend and it feels so good!’ Baz rolled his eyes and threw his phone in his pocket. So, Snow had shown up earlier than him. Baz wondered if that had been purposeful, if Snow was already avoiding him. It was probably a smart idea, why spend more time together than absolutely necessary? Still, Baz found that he was inexplicably annoyed by the whole thing.

“Stop thinking so hard, you’ll mess up your pretty hair,” Agatha said, winking at him.

Baz snorted.

“As if my hair is the more important between the two of us,” Baz said.

“Actually I think it is this time, _you’re_ the romantic lead, not me.”

Baz quieted at that. It wasn’t that he’d never played a romantic interest before, but this time he was doing the biggest advertised movie of his career. He would be known for the next couple of years as the brooding and love stricken vampire from _Carry On_ , associated romantically with Simon Snow for a very long time. The thought made him shiver slightly, from disgust he figured.

When they got out of the elevators Baz noticed that two hotel doors had been thrown wide open. He glared at them, knowing they had to be Snow’s and Bunce’s rooms.

“Let’s go say hi to Penny and Simon!” Agatha said.

He glanced down at her.

“Um, _why?”_ He asked.

She frowned at him.

“Look I know you have drama with this Simon guy but you’re going to have to get over it at some point. We start filming tomorrow morning. We should make an effort to say hello.”

Baz lowered his shoulders in defeat.

“Fine. I hate that you’re so much more mature than I am,” Baz said.

“That’s why we make such a good team,” She said, smiling sweetly at him.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him forward towards Snow’s door.

“Knock, knock,” Agatha said in her singsong voice.

Bunce was the first to look up, her eyes widening at the sight of the two of them. He had worked on a film with her once, he even found her to be a great actress and an overall interesting person. But once he’d publically ridiculed Simon, Bunce had taken a very anti-Baz stance on social media. Simon looked unsurprised and a bit annoyed, but smiled weakly at the two of them.

“Agatha Wellbelove, right? Hey Baz,” Simon said.

Agatha walked into the room and sat down next to Bunce.

“We are going to have a lot of fun together,” Agatha said.

“Are we?” Bunce asked, smiling in spite of herself.

Baz felt incredibly awkward standing in the doorway. Reluctantly, he walked across the room and sat on a chair at the breakfast table.

“These rooms are a bit too fancy, don’t you think?” Snow said.

He wasn’t looking at Baz, but Baz could tell the question had been directed at him. Baz was tempted to snap back that no he didn’t think proper class was too fancy or that Snow didn’t need to make inane small talk. But he knew this was Snow’s attempt at making peace and that he should make a similar effort, so he nodded.

“Yeah I know what you mean,” Baz said.

Snow looked up, his piercing blue eyes guarded.

“I guess we’ll be spending a lot of time together now,” He said.

Baz nodded, a funny feeling catching in his throat.

“I guess so,” Baz said.

They kept staring at each other, neither one of them willing to back down first. Baz felt a flicker of the same fury he’d felt at the audition. Snow bit his lip, a nervous tick Baz had noticed about him a couple of years back.

“Boys?”

Baz turned and found Agatha staring at him, a warning in her eyes.

“Penny suggested we go out for dinner, maybe get some drinks,” Agatha said.

“I thought it was twenty-one and over here Penny,” Simon said, smiling like they’d just shared a private joke.

“Well Micah _is_ twenty-one and he adores me. So I think we can make something work.”

“You two game?” Agatha asked, challenge written all across her sunny smile.

Baz looked back at Snow and found his distaste reflected back on the other’s boy’s face. Still, neither one of them wanted to look like a prat, so they nodded at the same time.

“Let’s go have some fun,” Snow murmured.

“Let’s _try,”_ Baz muttered.


	4. Rum and Arguments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really enjoying writing this fic, I think Simon and Baz are perfect for being movie stars :) I hope you all agree <3 Let me know what you think of the new chapter

**Simon**

The club was packed with bodies. Simon felt his anxiety stir slightly in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t really like crowds, especially not hot and sweaty ones that were mostly drunk. But he took a deep breath and shook his head, following Penny and Micah to the velvet roped off section to the side of the dance floor. Once they were safely behind the rope, Agatha and Baz trailing behind them, Simon sat down gratefully.

“Well this is…typical,” Baz said.

Penny rolled her eyes.

“Watch it sardonic boy, I haven’t decided yet if I still hate you or not,” Penny said.

Simon felt his stomach dip uncomfortably. He had thought they all had silently agreed to not bring up the inconvenient elephant on set but Penny had brought it front and center. Simon glanced nervously at Baz.

Baz narrowed his eyes.

“Hm, I guess I’m not quite off the hook then,” Baz said.

“Stop complaining about her club choices and you might be soon,” Micah said, smiling encouragingly at Baz.

“ _Might_ being the key word,” Penny said.

“I feel left out,” Agatha said, frowning.

“Don’t worry, this is one inside joke you don’t want to be in on,” Simon said.

Baz turned his attention to him.

“Are you calling me funny?” Baz asked.

Simon smiled sweetly.

“Actually I was calling you a joke,” He said.

“Okay! I think it’s time I order you all some drinks,” Micah said.

Simon sighed and leaned back in his seat. The last thing he wanted to be doing was hanging out with Baz the night before their first day on set. If he’d had his way he would have been eating room service desserts with Penny while they practiced lines. But there he was, seated across from the devil himself. He was wearing jeans and a V-neck black long sleeve shirt. Against it, his tan skin stood out and his grey eyes burned brightly. He had his black hair tied back casually, even though it wasn’t really long enough for it. All of him, from his dark wash jeans to his careless attitude, screamed lazy perfection. And Simon hated it.

“Diet coke for me,” Baz said.

“Oh _come on_ ,” Simon said.

Baz raised an eyebrow.

“Peer pressure? My mother warned me the day would come,” He said.

“That's not what I mean, it’s just such a Baz move,” Simon said.

Baz smiled meanly and leaned forward, closer to Simon.

“Care to explain?” Baz asked.

“You’re so cool that you follow the law and make it seem rebellious because you’re being _different_ ,” Simon said.

Baz’s eyes flickered over Simon’s face for a moment. Then he leaned back in his seat and rested his forehead on his hand.

“While I appreciate your very specific vision of me, no that’s not why,” Baz said.

Simon felt his cheeks redden.

“Then what is it?” Simon asked.

“For starters,” Baz said, “I’m not trying to be hung-over on set tomorrow.”

“And?” Simon prompted.

“And…” Baz said, expression neutral, “Me drinking under age publically only feeds into the press’s speculation that I’ll turn out like my mother. The drunk driver.”

Simon froze.

“Th-there aren’t any paparazzi here,” He whispered.

“Not yet,” Baz said, “But I don’t trust those dancers giggling at us from over there enough to risk it.”

Simon looked away. Baz had somehow found a way to do it again, to make Simon feel like a guilty asshole. Even though Simon had never tried to be a part of the Snow/Pitch drama after the crash, Baz never hesitated to remind him that he was still a part of it, whether he liked it or not. Simon knew Baz’s mother’s death wasn’t his fault, but it was moments like this that made him wonder if he _should_ feel sorry.

“So a diet coke for Baz,” Micah said, smiling nervously, “A vodka cranberry for Penny, a screwdriver for Agatha, and for you Simon?”

Simon sighed.

“Just get me a rum and coke.”

Micah nodded.

“You got it Si,” He said.

Baz laughed quietly.

“Actually,” Simon said, glaring, “Make it two.”

**Baz**

Baz loved being right, thrived on it even, but for once he was not happy that things had turned out the way he had suspected they would. Agatha was pleasantly buzzed but not out of control. Bunce was, predictably, completely sober. After her vodka cranberry she had stuck to water for the rest of the night, diluting any buzz she might have had to begin with. Micah had consumed two beers and seemed unaffected, but Baz didn’t know him well enough to be sure.

Snow, however, was being…well, Snow.

He had decided to turn his two rum and cokes into four and was now totally and completely drunk. Baz had known Snow was a lightweight. The bartender had been incredibly generous with the coke in each cocktail but Snow was acting as if he’d been taking shots the entire night. One who didn’t know Snow well might have been surprised to learn that he came from a country who’s legal drinking age would have allowed Snow two years worth of time to learn his lesson with alcohol consumption.

Snow slumped to the side and landed with his head in Baz’s lap.

“Snow I swear to god…” Baz hissed.

“Please stop being mean to me,” Snow mumbled.

Baz, who had been about to throw him off of his lap and onto the floor, paused.

“I don’t think I can manage that,” Baz said.

Snow sighed and put his hand on Baz’s thigh. Baz took in a sharp breath as Snow lifted himself up and looked Baz in the face, blue eyes fuzzy with rum.

“Fine, be a dick. Doesn’t surprise me much,” Snow said.

Baz blinked, uncomfortable.

“Snow, I realize your drunk, but could you maybe back off a little? In sober land, you’re a bit too close,” Baz said.

Snow sat up and away, his longer curls obscuring his face.

“I’m sorry,” Snow said.

“It’s not a huge deal, just don’t do it again,” Baz said.

Baz stood, intending to tell Bunce it was time to get Snow back to his hotel room. A hand wrapped itself around Baz’s wrist, stopping him.

“That’s not what I…not what I meant,” Snow said.

Baz frowned at him.

“Snow, you’re drunk and everything seems more dramatic than it really is right now. Let’s just get you in bed,” He said.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Snow said.

Baz ripped his arm out of Snow’s grasp.

“Excuse me?” Baz said.

Snow stood unsteadily.

“I’m sorry for what happened to her. I don’t know what really went down, none of us do. But it’s really shitty what happened.”

“She did it to herself, remember? Your dad is made that very clear,” Baz said, venom in his voice.

“She didn’t mean to though,” Simon said, “And she’s hardly the first person to ever drive drunk. Celebrities get in trouble for that all the time.”

“Are you…defending her?” Baz asked.

“What I’m saying is…what she did wasn’t okay, but it was human. And she didn’t deserve to die for it.”

Baz couldn’t look away from Snow, even though his body was screaming at him to run.

“But I didn’t have any part in smearing her name, or in that night,” Snow said, pouting, “So just…stop, okay?”

Baz worked his jaw, a million emotions running through him.

“Sorry Snow,” Baz said, “Not everyone is a part of the Simon Snow fan club. You can’t always get what you want.”

He stormed off into the crowd. Bunce turned to him as he approached, her smile fading as she took in the expression on his face. He tried to control it, to bring it down from full-blown fury to a more normal level of mild annoyance.

“Baz, what’s wrong?” Bunce said.

“Snow is drunk, too drunk. I need you to get him back to the hotel,” Baz said.

Bunce frowned at him.

“And what, you’re not capable of helping?” She asked.

Baz laughed coldly.

“Obviously fucking not,” He said.

With that, he walked out of the club and called for an Uber. The night air was not cool enough to calm Baz down, another down side of the L.A. landscape. He felt like screaming on the crowded sidewalk. But Baz had to keep a calm façade in the busy street, there were plenty of people already taking pictures and whispering to their friends. Baz didn’t have time to deal with his emotions.

Once he was in the Uber he let his head fall back on the seat. Snow hadn’t done anything wrong, in fact Baz was the one acting like a complete prick. But it pissed Baz off that Snow would even try to fix things, just so that he could have another person fawning all over him. Baz knew Snow wasn’t responsible for his mother’s ruined reputation. But the media used Snow’s golden boy status to highlight his mother’s purported wickedness and Baz couldn’t help but direct his anger at their source of choice.

Simon Snow was not the monster Baz liked to pretend he was. But Baz wasn’t willing to let years of fighting and resentment go just because Snow asked him to.


	5. Hungover Dragon Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, something that surprised me when I got into researching movies as a kid was that they usually film scenes out of order. I wanted to try to make this fic as realistic as possible but I apologize in advance to any film buffs who notice some mistakes lol. When I thought of the dragon, I didn't want to write it as CGI, I went more for the giant dinosaur in Jurassic Park look (I'm a sucker for classic special affects). I hope you enjoy <3

**Simon**

Simon woke up to the sound of wailing sirens, blaring in his ears. He moaned and covered his face, wondering what could possibly be the source of all that noise. When it became clear the noise wouldn’t stop, he cracked his eyes open and looked for the source. The room was too bright, and his head felt like it was about to split in half. He finally fumbled for his phone and realized it was his alarm. He had to be on set to film, and he was horribly hungover.

Simon stood up and felt like might throw up. After a minute or so of gagging Simon decided that he would probably be okay if he drank a little water. He stumbled over to his mini fridge and nearly screamed as he noticed the person sleeping on his couch.

“Penny what are you…Jesus you almost scared me to death,” Simon said.

She sat up and rolled her shoulders uncomfortably.

“Ugh, this couch was horrible to sleep on,” She said.

“Then why did you? Your room is right next door,” Simon said.

She sat up, wearing Harry Potter pajamas, and glared at him.

“Maybe it’s because you got so drunk last night that I didn’t trust you to be alone,” Penny said.

Simon frowned. He hadn’t realized at the time that he’d been drinking too much. In fact, most of his friends could handle more alcohol than he’d had last night and not blackout. But somehow he was the worst lightweight in existence, and it had obviously worried Penny.

“I would have been fine, but thank you. I’m sorry I scared you,” Simon said.

She rolled her eyes.

“No Simon, you wouldn’t have. I had to help you throw up three times. If I hadn’t been here you might have done that while lying down,” Penny said.

“So?” Simon asked. “So you could have drowned. In your own vomit,” She said, lips pursed.

“Gross,” Simon said.

“Gross is right,” Penny said, “Besides, I had to pump you with water. I needed you somewhat capable of filming today.”

Simon stared at her, surprised.

“So you’re saying _this_ is a state of improvement?” He asked.

“Yes!”

“Damn, I’m glad you stayed then,” Simon said.

He went into the bathroom and began getting ready. Most of it was a moot point anyway. Makeup and costume would be fussing all over him later on set. But he figured he’d try to make their lives a little easier by showering and brushing his teeth. When he came out Penny was sitting on his couch, changed and ready to go.

“By the way Simon, be careful with Baz today,” She said.

“Why?” He asked, automatically feeling defensive.

“Because you must have said something downright awful last night. He was totally calm with you one minute and then the next he was storming out of the club,” She said.

Simon felt a pang of anxiety in his stomach.

“You have no idea what I said to him?” Simon asked.

“Nope,” She said.

“Crap,” He said, imagining the hell Baz would probably put him through on set.

She smiled sympathetically.

“I’ve got your back, don’t worry. Besides, you’ll be plenty distracted on set today,” Penny said.

“What do you mean?” Simon asked.

“Don’t you remember? We're filming the dragon scene today,” She said.

Simon felt like throwing up again. The last thing he wanted to do with a hangover was be suspended in the air in order to fight an animatronic dragon with Baz of all people.

“This day keeps getting better and better,” He mumbled.

**Baz**

Baz felt like laughing. The animatronic dragon was fantastically large and looked dreadful to sit on. Luckily for Baz, he wouldn't have to. But the very hungover Snow _did_ have to sit on it. In fact, he had to climb on it, ride it, and slip off of it, several times until they got the scene right. Baz had never felt happier before in his life.

Snow had shown up to set paler than usual with dark circles under his eyes. His makeup artists were fussing over him endlessly, clucking about his having ruined their perfect canvas. Snow did not appear to be particularly guilty however. His facial expressions mostly ranged from _I’m in so much pain right now_ to _If you tap my face with that brush one more time I’m gonna lose it._

Baz wandered over, curious to see the finished product.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice,” Baz said.

Snow glanced at him in the mirror, blue eyes dull.

“I really can’t do this right now,” Snow said.

“Do what?”

“Deal with you,” Snow muttered.

“Lucky for you, today you won’t have to. The scene is going to suck, but it’s not up close and personal,” Baz said.

Snow looked at him, eyes widening.

“Are you…trying to make you feel better?” He asked.

Baz frowned. In fact, he had been. But he had no idea why. He supposed with Snow looking so depressed, and so horribly hungover, that he’d acted on natural human sympathy.

“We can’t have a diva on set today. I’m just making sure you don’t kill anyone before we can finish filming the scene,” Baz said.

Snow’s eyes went dull again.

“Yeah, of course,” Snow said.

“Yeah,” Baz said, feeling off.

He walked over to talk to Agatha instead, trying to shake off the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. After a few minutes the director showed up and it was business as usual. Baz was grateful for the distraction. He didn't like feeling so off of his game, especially not around Snow.

It _was_ amusing, watching Snow attempt to wrangle the dragon the first few takes. It was like watching him try and hold on to a very large mechanical bull. But it was also exhausting. Baz kept having to be suspended in mid-air by wires so he could float down to join the dragon fight. While it wasn’t as difficult as what Snow was doing, it was still tiring. Eventually Baz was just hoping they could get the scene done at all.

Baz felt like yelling at Snow, as if yelling could solve his frustration and have the scene done with. But he knew that wasn’t going to get them anywhere. So instead, he unclipped himself from the wires and walked over to Snow, who looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Snow,” Baz said.

He looked up at him and then away.

“I need to get this right. You don’t need to tell me that,” Snow said.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Baz said.

Snow looked up at him, surprised.

“You’re overthinking it too much. They have suspension cords on you; if you get thrown off you’ll be fine. Stop focusing so much on staying on the thing and start focusing on your acting,” Baz said.

“Okay,” Snow said, face unreadable.

“All right,” Baz said.

He walked back over to his spot and hooked himself back in. It wasn’t a thank you, but Snow’s acceptance of his advice was shocking enough as it was. Baz wondered if Snow had just been trying to be nice, or if he’d actually been open to his suggestion.

As the scene started Baz could see that Snow had gotten into character. He was no longer eyeing the metal beast nervously. Instead, he was fisting at it, his eyes determined and his mouth working in concentration. He was trying to attack it in earnest, working his prop sword until he plunged it into the soft fabric at the base of the dragon’s neck.

Baz felt a wave of relief. This was it; they finally had their scene. He floated down and delivered the rest of the scene with a much more confident Snow by his side. Bunce delivered her few lines flawlessly and the extras appeared to be convincingly terrified (which, Baz supposed, was probably easy in the face of a terrifyingly large fake dragon).

Snow came up to Baz when it was over and clapped his shoulder in a friendly gesture. Baz glared at his hand but didn't push it away.

“Thank you Baz, for real. I’m not sure that scene would have ever gotten filmed if you hadn’t said something,” Snow said.

Baz felt like he was dreaming. Snow thanking him? It had to be an alternate reality.

“Uh, you’re welcome. Couldn’t let your crappy acting ruin the day,” Baz said.

Snow rolled his eyes, but his smile stayed in place.

“Baz, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about last night, about what I said-“

A man came up behind Snow and put his hand possessively around his shoulder. Snow glanced up and winced slightly. It never failed to surprise Baz that he was slightly taller than the man. It gave him a small amount of satisfaction every time they were forced to be in the same room together.

“Hello Basilton,” David Snow said.

“See you later Snow,” Baz said angrily.

He stormed off. Whatever Snow had been about to say was not worth dealing with David Snow.


	6. Pool Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to post this, I've been on vacation in Mexico for the last week and just got home. Hope you like this chapter :)

**Simon**

In the hours after the first day of shooting, Simon had been forced to hang out with his dad and the other producers. It had been exhausting, doubly so after pretending to take down a dragon, and Simon had hated having to pretend like he cared what they thought about him or the potential success of the film. It was late, and Simon was finally getting ready to lie down for the night.

He heard a knock at his door.

Wearily, Simon stood and padded over to his hotel door. He knew it was someone from the cast, wanting something from him.

“Hey,” Simon said, as he opened the door.

Agatha Wellbelove stood in the doorway. When it had been announced that Agatha would be playing Annabelle in Carry On the Internet had gone crazy. Simon could see what all the fuss had been about. She was gorgeous, from head to toe, every bit the perfect blonde actress, and she was amazingly nice. Out of all the actors on set, Agatha was the one who had tried to get them to all hang out and get along. But, she also seemed kind of distant, like there was something beneath her luminous smile that you'd never be allowed to see. Simon wasn’t sure he wanted to become friends with someone who was so inscrutable.

“Hiya Simon, just came by to drag you out for the night,” She said.

Simon frowned and checked his phone.

“Agatha it’s two in the morning, where could we possibly go this late?” He asked.

“Downstairs, to the pool,” She answered.

“But the pool is only open until ten o’clock,” He said stupidly.

“True. But I just bribed an employee with an autograph and selfie to make sure that nobody disturbs us,” She said.

Simon searched his brain desperately for an excuse to get him out of it.

“I-I didn’t bring a cozzy,” Simon said.

Agatha frowned.

“So you came to California, Los Angeles no less, and you didn’t think to bring a swimming costume?” Agatha asked.

Simon shrugged.

“Whatever you can just wear your boxers,” She said.

“Wait what-“

She was already dragging him out of the room, cutting off his complaint.

“Now you don’t even have to change,” She said.

Simon couldn’t see her face, but he was pretty sure she was grinning.

**Baz**

Few things could take Baz by surprise; he’d pretty much seen and done it all. But Simon Snow standing in only boxers by a hotel pool in California? _That_ was something that definitely took him by surprise.

Snow was standing there, arms crossed over his chest like a shy virgin, eyeing the pool nervously. His boxers were too short and too loose all at the same time; trust Snow to wear contradictory underwear. Baz felt a flutter of appreciation for Snow’s broad chest, covered in freckles and moles, and quickly suppressed it. So Snow looked good while being almost naked, that didn’t mean anything, nor did it change anything.

Snow locked eyes with Baz and then Baz couldn’t help himself, he was cracking up.

“Snow…I didn’t realize you were so fond of ill-fitting delicates,” Baz said.

Snow glared at him.

“I didn’t know we’d be swimming when I packed!”

Baz frowned.

“How could you not? It’s California,” Baz said.

Agatha threw her hands up in the air.

“ _Exactly_. That’s what I said.”

Snow looked miserable. Bunce was running late to the random cast meet up in the pool and the only other people there were Agatha, Trixie, and Keris. Trixie and Keris had small parts in the film, but Agatha had invited them anyways. They were set to play minor characters that end up together in the movie. Baz wondered if they were taking their roles a bit more seriously than everyone else, as they were giggling and touching each other constantly in the water.

“C’mon Snow just get in the water, I won’t bite,” He said.

Snow raised an eyebrow.

“Says the guy playing a vampire,” He said.

“Says the guy who plays the worst chosen one to ever be chosen,” Baz shot back.

Snow’s shoulders sagged in defeat and walked into the pool. Baz looked away as Snow got deeper into the water and it lifted his boxers slightly. He really was in no mood to see more of Snow exposed.

“Are you sure we’re not going to get in trouble for this?” Snow asked.

Baz felt like sneering at him and accusing him of being such a straight edge, but held back. They had been behaving decently around each other ever since the club disaster from the night before. It was probably a better idea to keep things that way, even if Baz hated doing it.

“Yes Snow, we’re sure,” Baz said.

Snow seemed skeptical but he didn’t hide under the diving boards.

Agatha waded in afterwards in a skimpy white number, walking like it cost her nothing to be so perfect. Baz eyed Snow and wondered if he had been affected by her yet, he knew almost everyone else on set had been. Snow wasn’t looking at her though; instead he was staring at Baz.

“What?” He asked.

“We have to shoot the star scene tomorrow,” Snow said.

“And?” Baz pressed, irritated.

“It’s just…won’t it be a little awkward?”

It would be, Baz realized. They would be shooting the scene where Sam and Beau sat in bed and held hands while sharing magic. It was an intimate scene, even though it was just holding hands, and Baz wasn’t sure he was ready to shoot a scene like that with someone he was just barely getting along with.

“Only if you make it awkward,” Baz said.

Snow huffed.

“Of course I won’t, I can be professional,” He said.

Baz nodded.

“Well, so can I,” He said, not really knowing why.

Everything went quiet for a moment.

“So…” Agatha said, breaking the silence.

Baz snapped out of his weird mood and smirked.

“How about we make this interesting when Bunce gets here,” Baz said.

“Interesting how?” Snow asked, immediately suspicious.

Agatha smirked as if she could read Baz’s mind.

**Simon**

Playing chicken in the pool with fiercely competitive people is never a good idea. It’s especially not a good idea when you hate your competition. Baz was doing his best to support Agatha on his shoulders properly while Simon was supporting Penny. Simon did not normally enjoy games like this; he’d always rather play football, something he knew, than silly pool games. But Baz knew just how to get him riled up, so he was hooked.

Agatha playfully snapped the strap on Penny’s swimming costume, throwing her slightly off of Simon’s shoulders before she regained balance. Penny was naturally stronger, so Agatha seemed to be relying entirely on bold moves.

“I’m not letting you win Snow,” Baz said.

“Doesn’t seem like you have much of a choice, you picked a weak teammate,” Simon said.

Agatha looked down at Simon.

_“Hey!_ Don’t be such an arse,” She said.

Penny took advantage of the distraction and successfully threw Agatha off of Baz’s shoulders. Simon awkwardly high-fived Penny from under her and smirked at Baz.

“Looks like your girlfriend doesn’t know how to ignore my jabs,” Simon said, smiling widely.

Agatha’s eyes widened, but her smile remained the same. Simon wondered if they hadn’t realized their relationship had gone public in the press. Something unreadable passed over Baz’s face.

“I’m going in for the night,” Baz said, voice neutral.

He got out of the pool abruptly and walked back into the hotel, not pausing to say goodbye to Trixie or Keris on the way out.

“Did I say something wrong?” Simon asked, eyes on Agatha.

“Of course not,” She said, but her reassuring smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Penny glanced at him knowingly. Something was obviously up. Why let paparazzi take hundreds of photos of you together if you didn’t want people to think you were dating? Simon wasn’t sure what Baz and Agatha were hiding, but he was determined to find out.


	7. Love and Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :) Sorry I've been slow to update lately. I just wanted to mention that, though I'm writing Simon and Baz and using some lines from the novel Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, I recognize that I do not own the rights to these characters or the lines from the novel and that I am merely borrowing them for the sake of this fanfic. I hope you enjoy this chapter everyone, thank you all for being patient with my slow updates <3 <3 <3

**Baz**

It shouldn’t have surprised him. Baz knew photos of Agatha and him had been spreading like wild fire all over the Internet for the past few days, the two of them shot in seemingly relationship bliss. It had been his father’s idea from the beginning and Baz had carried it out just as he had asked. But Snow bringing it up had bothered him. It reminded him that to everyone else, Baz was the man his father carefully crafted him to be for the media. And to have Snow believe it all somehow made it worse.

He heard a knock on his door.

He rose and opened it, unsurprised to find a worried looking Agatha in the doorway, swimsuit still dripping.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

He thought about lying, but then decided against it.

“Not really,” He said.

She bit her lip.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

Baz shrugged.

“Can’t get any worse, can it?” He said.

She made her way into the room and stood awkwardly, still wet.

“Go ahead and sit on the couch. I don’t care,” He said.

She sat, looking slightly uncomfortable as she did so. He understood her expression; it was hard to look perfect or pristine while dripping all over someone else’s couch. She looked up at him, concern in her usually veiled eyes.

“I know that we’re not dating and I know why you have an interest in pretending that we are. It makes sense, for the purpose of the film,” She said.

“But?” Baz prompted, hearing the unasked question in her voice.

“But,” She began, “I just wondered…why is it that you don’t want to date me?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

She blushed.

“No, I…It’s not like I think everyone is hot for me-“

“Except that they are,” Baz remarked dryly.

“Except _you’re_ not,” She said, quieting him.

“Look,” She continued, “I really don’t think that everyone on the planet is interested in me. It’s just…the way you reacted. It seems like there’s more to it than you’ve been telling me.”

He studied her for a moment, eyes narrowed. He liked Agatha; she was a solid friend to have around. But telling people in the industry your secrets was never a good idea, no matter how much you liked them. Still, he wasn’t sure how long he could keep pretending they were together without telling her the truth.

“I’m gay,” He said.

Her eyes widened a fraction, but otherwise she didn’t react.

“Oh,” She said, “Well, thank you for feeling like you could trust me enough to tell me that.”

He shrugged.

“You would have figured it out anyways,” He said.

She nodded.

“I had already suspected you might be, if I’m being honest,” She said.

“And why is that?” He asked.

“Well,” She paused and smiled at him, “Everyone is hot for me.”

“Except for me,” He said, smiling back.

“Except for you,” She agreed.

He looked down at his hands.

“You won’t tell anyone will you?” He asked.

She stood and walked over to him, raising her pinky.

“Never. Your secret is safe with me,” She said.

His smile widened as he hooked his finger around hers.

**Simon**

Day two of shooting was already looking to be a lot better. Simon was, for one, not hungover and didn’t fear facing Baz. He was pretty sure they had come to some sort of truce, even if it was only temporary for the sake of filming. The weirdness in the pool had not seemed to be directed at him and he was pretty certain that Baz would be on his best behavior. Or at least, he hoped he would be.

Simon entered the sound stage, walking quickly over to makeup. As he sat and had his face readied for the scene, he tried not to think about what he was about to do. It didn’t make sense for him to be so nervous about holding hands when he’d already rehearsed a kissing scene with Baz. But, somehow, the idea of holding hands seemed worse. He had been able to pore all of his anger and resentment into the kiss with Baz before. This time he’d have to stay calm, affectionate even. He wasn’t sure he was really capable of it.

He stood shakily when he was done and made his way over to the set, where Baz was already waiting for him. When they made eye contact, Simon felt a curl of anxiety go up his spine.

“Snow,” He said.

“Baz,” Simon replied.

“Let’s just…get this over with. There’s no reason to get weird about it,” He said.

Simon nodded.

“Yeah, of course.”

They settled on their beds and waited for the director to give them their cue. As they got into the rhythm of the scene, Simon noticed just how good of an actor Baz really was. He’d never bothered to watch him in his other films, why would he waste his time watching someone he hated? But he could see now why Baz had been given a last minute audition for _Carry On_ in the first place. He slipped into the role as if it had been made for him, as if he really _was_ tortured by vampirism. Simon was a bit intimidated by the whole spectacle. It reminded him that Baz had been raised in the acting world and groomed to succeed in it, whereas Simon had merely been thrown into it, too late to become nearly as good as Baz was.

After a few takes, the flow was finally setting in. Him and Baz were both in sync and the lines were coming out smoother than they had previously.

Simon leaned forward and grabbed Baz’s hand. It was the part of the scene they hadn’t been able to get to in the previous takes. He hoped he wasn’t sweating and that if he was, that Baz wouldn’t notice.

“I’m going to try now,” He said.

He watched Baz’s face. Somehow he was able to look just a bit _too_ disgruntled. Baz was able to make it clear to whoever was watching that he was acting like he didn’t like holding hands, but that deep down he really did like it. Simon felt it like a blow to his own confidence. It seemed unreal how well Baz was fit for the part.

“Fine,” Baz said.

“Should you be casting a spell?” Simon asked.

“I don’t know. This is your experiment.”

“Don’t, then,” Simon said, “Not right away. But tell me if it hurts.”

“It didn’t hurt before,” Baz said.

“It didn't?”

“No.”

“What did it feel like?” Simon asked.

“Stop talking about feelings,” Baz said, hands shifting uncomfortably in Simon’s grip, “Hit me. Or charge me. Whatever it is you want to do.”

They continued the scene smoothly and finished it within the same take. The green screen didn’t resemble the stars that were described in the book, but they would later when editing got their hands on the footage. Simon was relieved when they were able to get up and leave the intimate space of the bed.

As he walked away he noticed that his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He growled to himself. He had to stop being so affected by Baz and his acting. There was no reason for him to be so anxious around him, especially since their mutual hostility had been put on hold for the time being. Simon needed to get a grip or he was never going to get through the rest of filming.

**Baz**

Baz felt like drowning himself in alcohol and playing his violin to the point of exhaustion, all at the same time. He was sitting on set, shoving a stale doughnut down his throat, as he watched Snow film some scenes with the actor playing The Mage. He couldn’t help but follow the line of Snow’s adam’s apple as it bobbed when he said his lines, or watch the light as it bounced off his dark golden curls. He was attracted to Snow. He knew that much, even if it killed him to acknowledge it.

“Something bothering you?” Agatha murmured next to him.

“Have you ever wanted to hate fuck someone?” Baz asked.

She turned to look at him, mouth slightly open.

“Do you mean… _him?”_ She asked.

He nodded.

She tilted her head, as if considering his response.

“Yes I have,” She said.

“And?” Baz prompted.

“And,” She said, “It’s hot. Very hot. But dangerous too. You know what they say about hate.”

He looked at her, confused.

“No, actually. I don’t,” He said.

She smiled, her perfect, pink lips shining.

“There’s a thin line between love and hate,” She said.

He felt his stomach go cold.

“Do be careful while navigating that line,” She said, patting him affectionately.


	8. A Conversation Somewhere Between L.A. and London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! For those of you who have just started school, I hope the new school year is going well and that you haven't been tormented by too much hw. I don't actually go back to school until the 28th, so hopefully that means you won't have to expect any major delays on chapters until then lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it.

**Simon**

In retrospect, Simon should have considered the possibility that he would be seated next to someone from filming on his plane trip back to London. They were, after all, going to do some filming there for a week or so. What he hadn’t considered, was being seated next to Baz of all people. But fate seemed to be having a good laugh at him as of late, so there he was, squished between the window and his on and off again enemy.

Baz seemed ambivalent about the setup. They had both been on their best behavior lately, and they’d even shared a couple of fun moments together in L.A. but that didn’t mean everything between them was forgotten. Which, though normally easy to ignore on set, was not so easy to ignore on a ten-hour flight.

“Please tell me you don’t snore,” Baz said, after a few minutes of awkward silence.

“I don't. At least, I think I don’t,” Simon said.

“Wouldn’t someone have told you by now if you did?” Baz asked.

Simon felt his cheeks burn.

“No,” He said.

Simon had only had one girlfriend before and it hadn’t lasted very long. He’d dated his costar Philippa Stainton a couple of years back for a few months after the movie they’d starred in together had premiered. She’d always been more into him and than he’d been into her. After he realized he had no desire to have her spend the night at his place, he had broken up with her.

Baz gave him a sideways look.

“You don’t strike me as a virgin, Snow.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“That is definitely none of your business,” He said.

Baz shrugged.

“We have a long flight ahead of us. We could spend it sharing tantalizing details of our past,” Baz said.

“We will _not,”_ Simon said.

“Suit yourself,” Baz said.

Simon wondered suddenly what Baz’s private life looked like. He’d seen enough of Baz’s whirlwind romances online and on magazine covers to believe that he was most likely not a virgin. But what did a night at Baz’s look like? Did he invite his dates into his larger than life estate, serving them three hundred year old wine, and topping the evening off with a game of darts that had Simon’s face on the target? Suddenly Simon felt as if he needed to know.

“I uh, never did it with Philippa,” Simon blurted out.

Baz raised his eyebrow coolly.

“That is very hard to believe considering how long you dated,” Baz said.

Simon looked away and out the window. The clouds up close were still a sight that Simon couldn’t get used to. Ever since his father had introduced him to the movie industry, Simon had flown all over the world. But he’d never gotten over how amazing it was or how much he was sure his mother would have enjoyed it, if she’d ever had the chance.

“She was too interested in me. It was like she was in love with me and I didn’t feel the same way. We got close to doing it but in the end, it just didn’t feel right,” Simon said.

“Wow,” Baz said, “Simon Snow the Virgin. I wonder how much money that tidbit of information would be worth.”

Simon felt his stomach drop.

“You wouldn’t,” Simon said.

Baz eyed him for a moment without saying anything. Finally, he sighed and shook his head, letting Simon off the hook.

“No I wouldn’t. I’m sure you’ll be surprised, but I’m not actually _that_ terrible of a person.”

“I don’t-“ Simon began.

“You do,” Baz cut him off, “But it’s fine. I feel the same about you. Just because we’re getting along doesn’t mean that anything’s changed.”

Simon’s mouth snapped shut. He’d known as much, but it was still like a harsh slap to the face to hear it. Part of him had hoped they were starting to get past all of this…heaviness. That at the end of filming maybe they wouldn’t feel the desire to lunge at one another at the next Christmas party.

“What about you?” Simon asked.

“Hm?”

Simon felt his heart beat a little faster as he looked into Baz’s cool, grey eyes.

“Are _you_ a virgin?” Simon asked.

“Planning to sacrifice me if I am?” Baz asked, tone guarded but amused.

“I showed you mine…” Simon trailed off.

“Fine,” Baz said.

Simon waited.

“Yes I’m a virgin.”

He said it like he didn’t give a damn. As if being a virgin was of the smallest importance. In fact, whereas Simon had felt embarrassed about his sexual status, Baz seemed to wear it like a badge of honor. So he could make sobriety _and_ virginity look badass.

“That doesn’t seem to bother you,” Simon said.

Baz smirked.

“And why should it? It doesn’t matter. The entire concept of virginity is bullshit anyways,” Baz said.

“That's true,” Simon said, “It’s just…I’ve seen your films and T.V. appearances. I mean, in that one episode on _Game of Thrones_ you were-“

“That was a job,” Baz interrupted, “It doesn’t mean anything off screen.”

Simon thought about his response.

“So you and Agatha haven’t…?” Simon asked.

“No,” Baz said, looking away.

“Oh,” Simon said.

They were both quiet for a moment.

“But will you?” Simon pressed, unable to help himself.

Baz’s cheeks went from a warm brown color to a deep crimson. Simon had never seen Baz react like that before.

 _“No,”_ Baz said.

“But,” Simon said, “Aren’t you guys dating? I’m sorry I’m just…confused.”

“That much is apparent,” Baz muttered.

Simon refused to look away from him.

“We’re not dating, _okay?”_ Baz said, “It’s all just for the publicity.”

“Really? I thought, with her being so pretty and with you being, well you, that maybe something would happen-“

“I’m gay,” Baz said, point blank.

Simon stopped talking. Suddenly everything else that he had been saying sounded incredibly stupid and ignorant to his own ears.

“Oh,” Simon said, “I guess I hadn’t considered that possibility.”

Baz made a noise of disgust.

“Do _not_ get all weird with me because of what I just told you.”

Simon’s eyes widened.

“What? _No,_ that isn’t what I meant.”

Baz’s eyes narrowed.

“Then what did you mean, exactly?”

Simon hung his head down.

“I just…felt like an idiot. I should have thought about you being gay as a possibility instead of just assuming you were straight.”

Baz’s clenched jaw softened.

“Well,” Baz said, “You’re certainly not the first to do so. Plus I’ve pretended to date plenty of women.”

“Everyone in the industry does though, it sells tickets,” Simon said.

Baz stayed quiet for a minute or so. Then, he glanced up at Simon curiously.

“For the sake of not assuming things…are you straight?” Baz asked.

Simon felt himself go still. Nobody had ever asked him that. In fact, nobody had ever given him the time or space to think about what his answer to the question would be, if anyone had ever gotten around to asking him. When his mother had been alive, his only focus had been to make her happy and when his dad had showed up, all he’d ever had time for was adjusting to his new last name and his new career. Now, he sat with the question.

“I don’t know,” Simon said, truthfully.

Baz studied him.

“I think that’s the most Simon Snow answer you’ve ever given,” Baz said.

**Baz**

Snow had fallen asleep next to him. They still had a lot of filming ahead of them and wasting time was not really an option given their schedule. Still, Baz’s mind kept swirling on Snow’s uncertainty over his sexuality. Baz couldn’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, he had a chance to release all of his frustration with Snow in a way that didn’t end in a fight.


	9. Enemies?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in Lake Tahoe for a week so I wasn't able to update as quickly as I would have liked to (sorry <3). I hope you like this chapter :) If you liked drunk Simon, get ready for Baz...Let me know what y'all think :) <3

**Baz**

“Another bar, _really?”_ Baz asked.

It was the crew’s first night in London and they had already hopped to three different bars. Baz felt that the fourth was really quite excessive. The group was not holding up well, aside from Snow, and looked as if they needed to crawl back to their hotel rooms for some sleep.

“Oh, come on Baz,” Agatha crooned, “Lighten up.”

“Yes,” Bunce agreed, “If I can loosen up then surely you can as well.”

Baz rolled his eyes.

Snow seemed lost in his own thoughts, quiet throughout the whole exchange. Baz had a nagging feeling that his conversation with Snow on the flight hours earlier had caused this silent introspection in him. He hoped he hadn't thrown him too off of his game. They did have filming in two days after all.

“And what do you think Snow? Seems like you'd rather be at home for the night,” Baz said, hoping for some support.

“Hm?” Snow looked up, as though startled.

“Do you want to go home?” Baz asked.

Something dark glittered across his eyes.

“Not particularly,” Snow said.

Baz frowned slightly, wondering what the change in mood was all about.

“You okay?” Baz asked.

Snow sighed, sipping lightly at his forgotten beer.

“Fine,” He said.

Baz studied him for a moment but then decided to give up. Snow’s internal demons were no interest of his, unless he required physical distraction from them.

With a shrug, Baz grabbed the shot of tequila that Agatha had put out for him.

“Well,” Baz said, “Fuck it, I guess.”

He downed the tequila shot.

The bar went wild.

**Simon**

Simon wondered what issue he should tackle first. The issue of his now uncertain sexual orientation status, or that of the creepy package that had been left on his doorstep in the early hours of the morning.

He watched warily as Baz continued to get himself hammered along with Penny and Agatha. Trixie and Keris were across the room, making out in a slightly draped booth. The entire crew was going to have a killer hangover in the morning. Except for Simon.

Baz’s question from the plane ride had continued to plague him as they had flown back to his home, through his cab ride to his flat, and right up until he had reached his doorstep. Then he had noticed the package. Inside had been an envelope filled with odd photos. One had been of his father, many years younger, grabbing Natasha Pitch’s arm with an angry expression on his face. Another had shown them walking out together of the banquet that had been hosted the night of Natasha’s death. Simon wasn’t sure what it all meant. But the note inside the envelope had been crystal clear.

_Tell your father he’s running out of time._

_-Numpty_

He had tried to get ahold of his father several times over the last few hours, but his agent had claimed he was too busy with Carry On details to come to the phone. So instead of stewing over the mysteriously threatening package from Numpty, Simon had agreed to join the cast on their barhopping adventure of the night.

Once he had gotten there he hadn’t been able to put either concern out of his head. Was his father safe? Was Simon straight? Both questions were far too complicated for Simon to figure out in a crowded pub in London.

Simon felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find himself eye to eye with Baz. His cool grey eyes were regarding him carefully, like Simon was revealing something about himself. Simon didn’t know what to say, he had expected a drunk complaint or joke, not Baz’s full attention.

“You seem distracted,” Baz said.

Simon eyed Baz’s flushed cheeks.

“You seem drunk,” He replied.

Baz shrugged.

“We’re celebrities. This is what we’re supposed to do, isn’t it?” 

Simon paused before answering.

The subject of drunken celebrities was never really a welcome one when it came to Simon and Baz’s tense history. He had no desire to remind a drunk Baz about his mother’s death or the public’s reaction to it.

“Won’t you regret it in the morning?” Simon asked, steering the conversation away.

Baz rolled his eyes.

“We don’t have filming tomorrow. C’mon Snow, have a drink with us.”

Simon sighed.

The last thing he felt like doing at the moment was getting buzzed around his costars. If it had just been Penny he might have, then again if it had just been Penny she would already be pouring over the photos Simon had received and trying to figure them out.

“I’m not in the mood,” Simon said.

“You in the mood for anything else?” Baz asked, already turning back to the others.

Simon wondered if he imagined the suggestive nature of the question. He regarded Baz with a new kind of gaze. He was attractive, with his tan skin and dark raven hair. And his eyes were absolutely hypnotic. He had kissed him before, just for the sake of the audition. But still, he had kissed him and he had liked it. He wasn’t sure what that meant exactly and he was afraid that if he had more to drink, he would find out in the most embarrassingly drunk way possible.

The night went on, with most of the cast ignoring Simon as they continued on their drunken path of debauchery. Penny was on the phone yelling at Micah, slurring her complaints. Agatha was watching Penny with an interested expression on her face. Trixie and Keris were nowhere to be found and Baz was playing the piano in the corner of the bar.

Simon noted, slightly irritated, that even drunk Baz could play the piano expertly. He wandered over to him and watched his shoulders work as he continued to play a sad song. There was a quality to it that made Simon think, wistfully, of his mother. He missed her round-cheeked sweetness and her attentiveness. She used to call him her rosebud boy.

“I didn’t know you could play,” Simon said.

“Not very well,” Baz said, tone serious, “The violin is really my instrument.”

“That’s frightening,” Simon said.

“Hm?” Baz asked, dilated eyes confused.

Simon studied him.

“Where is your hotel?” Simon asked.

“You mean _our_ hotel,” Baz said.

Simon chuckled.

“Actually no, I’m staying at my flat.”

“Why?” Baz asked.

Simon shrugged.

“I live here, why not.” 

Baz frowned.

“I don’t remember where my hotel is,” Baz said.

“How about the name?” Simon asked.

Baz bit his lip.

Simon turned to look for Penny or Agatha and found that they too had disappeared. He weighed his chances of getting ahold of either of them before Baz passed out on the piano. With a sigh, he turned back and put a hand on Baz’s shoulder.

“C’mon, you can stay at my place,” He said.

Baz raised an eyebrow.

“Is that really a good idea?” Baz asked.

“I promise no fights,” Simon said.

“I’m not sure that’s what I meant,” Baz said.

They walked out to Simon’s car, Baz stumbling slightly. Simon worried briefly that Baz might get sick in his car and then shook it off. There was no way Baz would ever risk the embarrassment in front of Simon, even if he was drunk.

“Nice car Snow,” Baz commented.

“Thanks,” Simon said.

They rode the rest of the way in silence. When they got to his flat Simon had to help Baz into his place, slinging his arm around his neck. Simon tried to ignore the smell of Baz’s hair, faintly cedar-like. Once inside Baz took a step in and giggled.

“Your place is so…homey,” Baz said.

Simon smiled briefly.

His flat had a lot of his mother’s old furniture pieces. His father had allowed him to put them in storage until he’d been old enough to put them in his own place. He had a cozy couch and his mother’s old rugs littered the floors here and there. Penny had sent him several homemade blankets; they were draped over most of the seating areas.

“I’m glad you think so,” Simon said.

Baz tripped onto the couch, trying to kick his shoe off.

“Maybe you shouldn’t-“

Baz’s shoe flew off and knocked a picture frame down.

“Whoops,” Baz said.

Simon bit his lip, trying to stop himself from laughing.

“Here,” he said, walking over, “Let me.”

He kneeled onto the ground and removed Baz’s other shoe. When he looked up, he saw that Baz was watching him with warm eyes. Baz had never looked at him like that. In fact, Simon was pretty sure that Baz hadn’t looked at _anyone_ like that. Simon felt his cheeks warm.

“You’re a surprisingly nice host,” Baz commented.

“You’re my first overnight guest,” Simon said, and then regretted saying it.

Baz closed his eyes and smiled.

“Don’t say that, it sounds too…intimate,” Baz said.

Simon swallowed.

“Being that we’re enemies and all,” Baz said.

“Are we?” Simon asked, a little breathlessly.

But Baz didn’t answer. It appeared that he had fallen asleep.

Simon rose and grabbed a blanket to throw over Baz. Then he walked over to the picture frame and put it back where it had been, a photo of him and his mother smiling.

“Goodnight Baz,” Simon said.

He walked back into his room, so that when Baz spoke, he couldn’t hear him.

“Goodnight Simon,” Baz mumbled.


	10. Kitchen Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that school has officially started for me I've been slow to updating. I'm sorry <3 Hopefully this chapter will be good enough to make up for that lol.

**Baz**

As soon as he woke up, he knew he had a hangover. He had once given Snow a bad time for coming onto set hungover, but Baz knew that in this case he was much _much_ worse. Vague memories came to mind as he rubbed his aching eyes. He thought he remembered playing the piano. And possibly kicking his shoe off at Snow. None of it made much sense.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.”

Baz opened his eyes completely. Snow sat across from him on a loveseat, fully dressed and recently showered. Baz realized that he was lying on a couch, clothes from the night before still on. Looking around, he felt a flitter of unease that he was in someone’s flat and not in his hotel room.

“Where am I?” Baz asked.

“My place.”

Baz sat up and wondered if he would be in a bad mood. He wanted to be. But Snow’s freshly clean hair and smirk had him wondering if charm would win something in his favor.

“And did we do anything in your place last night?” Baz asked.

Snow raised an eyebrow.

“Did you want us to have?” He countered.

Baz smiled, Snow was playing along.

“No we did not. You practically passed out upon entering. I’m lucky you didn’t vomit,” Snow said.

“I happen to have a strong tolerance for the stuff,” Baz muttered, looking for his shoes.

“Here,” Snow said, tossing them to him. 

Baz lifted one boot up.

“Did I kick these at you last night?” He asked.

Snow laughed.

“No, but you did manage to take down a photo.”

Baz frowned, slightly disappointed.

“Well, now that I know my virtue was not threatened, I think I should get going,” Baz said.

Snow frowned as Baz stood.

“Why? There’s no filming today,” Snow said.

Baz raised an eyebrow.

“Care to spend the day together then, is it?”

Snow flushed an attractive pink.

“No I just…you don’t need to rush out.”

There was a paper bag next to Snow. It became suddenly obvious that Snow had left the flat to get them both breakfast. Part of Baz screamed that staying was a bad idea. He was hungover and moody, never a good state of mind to be in around Snow. Plus the fact that Snow had gotten him food had him feeling strange, sort of warm in his throat. He didn’t like it.

“All right then, I’ll stay for a bit,” Baz said, against his better judgment.

They sat at Snow’s small kitchen table. Baz got the impression that Snow only decorated and furnished for himself. There was no extra seating, no decedent displays of wealth such as the décor in Baz’s own family estate. Snow’s flat resembled a tiny home, humble and warm. It made him uncomfortable.

“I just grabbed some scones, sorry,” Snow said.

Baz rolled his eyes.

“Snow, you’re giving me free food and coffee, don’t apologize.”

They ate in silence for a bit.

“Was surprised to see you get so hammered,” Snow said, eventually.

Baz swallowed his bite of scone.

“Why?”

Snow’s gaze slid away uncomfortably.

“Well…after all that stuff you said in Hollywood about your mom I just…”

Baz didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” Snow said.

Baz sat back in his chair, studying Snow. It didn’t look as if he were about to launch into a biting criticism of his mother’s drunk driving incident. It looked like he was genuinely curious and a bit timid. This topic had always been off limits for the both of them, but Baz found suddenly that he could talk about it.

“I don’t like to be drunk in public but I also don’t want to live in fear of them,” Baz said.

“Of who?” Snow asked.

“Everyone,” Baz said.

Snow looked down.

“I’m sorry,” Snow said.

“For what?”

Baz watched as Snow’s adam’s apple bobbed.

“For how my father treated your family after everything happened. He didn’t have to blather to the press as much as he did.”

“Simon Snow apologizing to me,” Baz said, “That’s a first.”

Snow shook his head.

“No, Baz I’m serious I-I didn’t understand before. How much it had messed things up for you. I shouldn’t have been so harsh all of these years.”

Baz sighed, not understanding why he was going to do what he was about to do.

“I appreciate it Snow. But to be perfectly honest, none of that was your fault. I’ve spent a long time resenting you for things that were out of your control.”

“Are you apologizing to me?” Snow asked.

Baz shrugged.

“I guess.”

Snow stood and grabbed something on the counter.

“I wasn’t going to show you this but, here.”

Baz had two photos in front of him. In one, his mother was being grabbed angrily by David Snow and in the other they were leaving the banquet together the night that she had died. An eerie note by someone named Numpty was there also. Baz picked up the photos and held them close, trying to drink in every detail. None of it made sense. According to David Snow’s account of the crash, he’d had no memory of how he’d ended up in a car with Natasha Pitch. But if these photos had been sent to Snow, then they’d certainly been sent to David at some point. If he’d come across information from the crash, why hadn’t he gone public with it?

“Your father-“

“Is lying,” Snow finished for him.

Baz’s jaw clenched.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“She’s _your_ mother. And I’m beginning to think…well I’m beginning to think that the crash didn’t go down the way my dad said it did.”

Baz stood up.

“We need to get these published,” Baz said.

“No.” 

Baz sneered.

“Oh and why not? Because it would ruin your father’s perfect reputation?”

Snow glared at him.

“I intend to do just that,” He said.

Baz frowned.

“What?”

“I plan to uncover the truth. Since my father is lying I’m almost certain that whatever I find…it’s going to make him look bad. And I’m going to bring it to the public. But not before I have all of the information.”

Baz felt strange as he watched the determination in Snow’s face. It was obvious that Snow meant what he was saying but Baz didn’t understand why he was doing it.

“He’s your father, how can you do this to him?”

Snow’s eyes darkened.

“And she was your mother. How can I not?”

They both went quiet after that, staring at each other. Baz felt like his body was alive, charged with the need to avenge his mother’s reputation and something else. He saw the same energy reflected in Snow’s eyes. The atmosphere of the kitchen became thick with something new, a kind of tension that didn’t leave Baz wanting to spit at Snow from across the table. He wanted to do other things though, to push the table away from them and get closer. So close that the electricity charging the air would collide and then….well, Baz didn’t know what would happen then. He stood up abruptly, the scrape of the chair wrong in the silence of the room.

“I need to go,” Baz said.

“Why?” Snow breathed, the sound of his voice alighting nerves all along Baz’s abdomen.

“I’m not going to leave you to do this by yourself. I need to look through my parent’s things, to see if there’s something we might have missed,” Baz said.

Snow nodded.

Was Baz imagining the look of disappointment on Snow’s face?

“Plus I eventually need to get back to my hotel. We have filming tomorrow,” Baz said.

“The London vampire club scene,” Snow said.

“Yes.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Snow said.

“All right.”

As they walked out, Baz wondered what their new teaming up status would lead to. They were getting closer to the kiss scene that they’d done in the audition. After London, they’d be filming the scene in their next location. Baz could feel the anticipation in his gut. He wanted to kiss Simon Snow, and not just for the sake of a role.

The question was, would that scene be his only chance to?


	11. Scene 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm really really sorry I haven't been updating (aren't I always saying that though *cries*). School has been hitting me really hard in the last few weeks. I hope this chapter to some extent makes up for my absence, it's a little longer than usual :) Also, a quick reminder that even though I'm using quotes from Carry On, I understand that I do not own the rights to it and that copyright goes to Rainbow Rowell. Thank you all for your patience with me <3

**Simon**

A week of filming shouldn’t have taken as much of a toll on Simon as it was. They had just finished the London scenes. It had meant running around different locations in London, filming at odd hours, and having to re-film a scene that had been wrecked by excessive mist. Simon was barely managing it.

As if that wasn’t enough, he was also working with Baz to try to figure out what his father was lying about. Baz had ravaged his family home and had only found an article about Simon’s mother’s death that had been cut and put into a file in one of Baz’s mother’s desk drawers. The small clue had left them more confused than they had been before.

Baz was spending more nights at Simon’s flat doing research than he was at his own hotel room. Simon had offered to come there instead but Baz had insisted that the idea was stupid. They could safely store all of their evidence at Simon’s place and not worry about overzealous hotel staff sneaking photos to the paparazzi.

It was getting difficult to ignore him when he stayed over. Simon had found himself staring at Baz’s mouth on several occasions. But whatever flirting Baz might have done before was gone. He was too focused on figuring out what Simon’s father had lied about. Simon was glad they weren’t fighting but he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed.

They were on their way to film in Bourne Woods in Farnham. It was finally time to do the forest scene. Normally he would have argued that it was excessive to go on location for one forest scene, but given the importance of the scene for the movie, Simon could understand why it was necessary.

Simon was nervous. He _wanted_ to kiss Baz and he was sure that as soon as they did the scene, Baz would know it. Sometimes it seemed like Baz wanted to kiss him too, but he wasn’t always sure. When Baz realized how much Simon really wanted to kiss him, would he laugh at him?

He was in a car with Baz, watching him study the article on Simon’s mother’s death.

“What are you hoping to find in that?” Simon asked.

Baz shook his head.

“If my mother saved this then she must have thought it was important,” Baz said.

Simon felt a dull thud of pain.

“It _is_ important,” He whispered.

Baz looked up, expression confused. Then he seemed to realize the document he was looking at and what it meant to Simon.

“I’m sorry Snow, I didn't…I forgot,” Baz said.

“It was a long time ago,” Simon said.

Baz’s eyes were oddly gentle.

“Do you miss her?” He asked.

Simon looked out the car window.

“All the time,” He whispered.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find that Baz had reached tentatively over to him.

“I know what it’s like,” Baz said.

Simon felt his heart throb, wanting to pull Baz into him.

“I’m going to nap,” Simon said, shifting into the car door.

It was quiet for a moment.

“Okay,” Baz said, voice careful.

**Baz**

Snow was asleep, or at least pretending to be. In all the years Baz had spent hating him he had never considered that he and Snow were alike. They had both lost their mothers. They had both been helpless to prevent it. He wasn’t sure how he’d never thought about it before.

Watching Snow was not a good idea. He felt the desire to rest against Snow’s back and curl up. Which didn’t make any sense. If he was only sexually attracted to Snow then why did he want to snuggle up to him in a car? Desires like that had been coursing through him all throughout their time in London together. He’d had to stop flirting with him, because if he hadn’t he’d do something stupid. He was afraid that what he was feeling was more than just a crush.

Snow turned in his sleep towards Baz, face relaxed for once. Baz couldn't help but count the moles on his face. He wanted to kiss each one. What was happening to him?

With a sigh, Baz rested against the back of his seat and closed his eyes.

**Simon**

Penny stood in the doorway of his hotel room, glaring at him. Simon swallowed deeply, afraid of her. He knew he hadn’t been hanging out with her enough and that she was annoyed. But he’d figured that with her newfound friendship with Agatha, he could get away with sneaking off to hangout with Baz.

“Hi Penny,” He said.

“Where have you been?” Penny demanded.

“Well…where have _you_ been?” He asked.

She narrowed her eyes.

“What?” She asked.

He leaned against the doorframe.

“I haven’t seen you around lately so I’ve been doing my own thing,” Simon said.

Penny flushed angrily.

“I’ve been hanging out with Agatha since _you_ haven’t been around,” She said.

Simon weighed his options. He could lie and then have Penny bugging him for the next century for the truth or he could tell the truth and have her bugging him for more details. Neither option appealed to him.

“I’ve been hanging out with Baz,” Simon said.

It was obvious she hadn’t expected his answer.

“Why?”

“Well, we found some stuff out about my dad and it has to do with his mom so-“

“Tell me everything,” She said, pushing into the room.

After he’d told her everything she demanded to see all the photos and reports they’d gathered, disappointed when she realized how little there was.

“You two aren’t very good at this,” She said.

“What would you have done differently,” He asked.

“I’d find out who the hell took the photos Numpty sent you,” She said.

Simon opened his mouth to argue and found that he couldn’t.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I know.”

“So we find Numpty,” Simon said, “And get him to tell us who took the photos? How are we going to get him to talk?”

Penny studied the note Numpty had left.

“I mean, it looks like Numpty is already pissed off. I think he might just tell you.”

Simon shook his head.

“I guess it’s better than no plan,” He said.

She studied him.

“So you’re only hanging out with Baz to figure this stuff out?” Penny asked.

He looked away.

“Don’t Penny.”

“What is it?”

He turned to her.

“You’re the smartest person I know. If I’ve figured it out already then surely you have to,” Simon said.

Penny bit her lip.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” She said.

“But we will,” He muttered.

“You like him.”

He felt the words send a thrill through him.

“Yes,” He said, helplessly.

“A lot?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“I…are you happy?” She asked.

He glared at her.

“He hates me Penny, of course I’m not happy.”

She shook her head.

“Simon, if you’ve spent this much time together, do you really think he still hates you?”

Simon frowned. It was true that they’d been spending a lot of time together and Baz hadn’t been cruel to him in quite a long time. But he couldn’t shake the doubt that one day, Simon would reveal his feelings and Baz would sneer back at him, rejecting him.

“I don’t think he hates me,” Simon said, finally, “But I don’t think he’d ever want to be with me either.”

“Because of Agatha?” She asked.

He forgot she didn’t know.

“Because of a lot of reasons,” He said, careful not to give anything away.

She hugged him, her hair tickling his nose.

“I hope everything works out,” She said.

Simon did too.

**Baz**

He was shivering in the late night air. Filming had to be done late at night for the forest scene. He was in a bulky jacket standing next to Snow. They were in wardrobe, made up, and ready to film but neither one of them could look at each other. They were going to kiss, and probably for several takes.

“Hopefully they can keep the fire maintained,” Snow muttered.

“What?” Baz asked.

Snow glanced at him and flushed.

“I just, I’m hoping they don’t set the whole forest on fire.”

“Oh,” Baz said.

“Yeah.”

“Good point,” Baz said.

It was awkward, Baz could feel it. They were both thinking about the kiss and they both knew it. It was impossible to talk without saying something stupid.

“All right everyone,” Ebb called out from her director’s chair, “Let’s get started!”

They had already filmed the scene where Beau stormed off into the woods and Sam looked for him. That hadn’t been very difficult for either of them. Baz had been surprised though, once again the vibrancy in Snow’s acting had awed him.

Snow shucked off his jacket and walked over to the tree that was at the center of their scene. Baz followed, reluctantly handing his coat off. He grabbed his prop wand and sat at the base of the tree. The special effects team was setting up the fires. CGI would later be used to supply the fire that would shoot out of Beau’s wand. Still, the small amount of real fire was enough to make everyone more than a little nervous.

When Ebb signaled for them, Baz watched Snow transform. He was no longer the shy and moody actor Baz had come to know. He was Sam, through and through. He could almost imagine magic pouring off of him. He wondered, for a moment, what it would be like to live in the World of Mages.

“What are you doing?” Snow said, “Put it out.”

Baz did his best breakdown. He was pretty good at pretending to fall apart on command. Years of controlling his own pain meant he could call on it when he needed to and ignore it when he couldn’t handle it.

“Beau, it’s all right. We’ll just get the name from someone else. This isn’t over. We’re going to do what your mother asked us to.”

“This is what my mother would want for me, you idiot,” Baz said.

Snow dropped to his knees. Baz felt it in himself, felt the desire to grab Snow and kiss him deeply.

“What are you even talking about?”

He sneered his teeth, later they would CGI his fangs too.

“My mother died killing vampires. And when they bit her, she killed herself. It’s the last thing she did. If she knew what I am…she would never have let me live.”

“That’s not true. She loved you. She called you her ‘rosebud boy.’”

Snow had worked himself up. Baz watched as tears gathered in his eyes, not spilling yet but making the blue of his eyes deep as a lake.

“She loved what I was! I’m not that boy anymore! I’m one of them now.”

Snow shook his head.

“You’re not.”

“Haven’t you been trying to prove I’m a monster since we were kids? Crowley, you have your proof now. Go to tell the Mage-tell everyone you were right! I’m a vampire Sam! Are you happy?”

They had made the flames higher. Baz hoped that the crew was confident in their ability to snuff the fire out.

Snow was crying. It was almost too real for Baz.

“You’re not,” Snow said.

“What?” Baz asked.

“You’ve never even bitten anyone.”

“Fuck off,” Baz said.

“No!” Snow shouted.

Baz couldn't look away from Snow, even if the scene had required him too. He was alight with fire and his eyes were pulling Baz in.

“Seriously go. This fire isn’t for you,” Baz said.

Snow moved forward grabbing Baz’s wrists and pulling him.

“That’s right, it can’t be. You always said you’d make sure there was an audience when you finished me off. Come on.”

Baz didn’t move, he only slumped forward. Snow reached forward and tilted Baz's chin up. He felt anticipation zap through his nerve endings. The kiss was coming.

“Beau.”

“Go away Sam,” Baz said.

“You’re not a monster. I was wrong. All those years. You’re a bully. And a snob. And a complete arsehole. But you’re not one of them.”

“This is what I deserve,” Baz said.

It wasn't true though. Baz didn't deserve to kiss Snow, not after everything he'd said to him over the years. Not after all of their history.

Snow shook his head, sadness and anger equally matched in his expression.

“Well, it isn’t what I deserve,” Snow said.

“Then go,” Baz said.

“I won’t. I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.”

“Sam…” Baz said, eyelashes fluttering.

He watched as, face determined, Snow leaned into him and kissed him.

Baz felt it like an explosion on his lips. He’d wanted this, wanted it for so long but hadn’t had the proper excuse. He knew he needed to act inexperienced; to pretend that kissing didn’t come natural to him. But he did know how to kiss Snow, he’d done it once before.

It was too hard to hold back, to be Beau in that moment. He didn't want to be anyone else except for himself. 

He wanted to open Snow’s mouth and press him into the forest floor.

**Simon**

He wasn’t a magician, but when he kissed Baz, he felt like his body was made of magic.

He kissed Baz tenderly, knowing that that the scene required patience. But he wanted to kiss blindly, to let go of control and lose himself in the feel of Baz’s lips.

Finally, _finally_ he was able to open Baz’s mouth with his tongue. He felt Baz shudder underneath him. Did that mean that he wanted this too? Or was he just that good of an actor?

Simon’s tongue slipped helplessly into Baz’s mouth. He felt it in his core when Baz’s tongue melded against his own, opening Simon’s mouth even wider. He was only touch and sensation, only Baz. He groaned lightly and tried to control the noise so it didn’t show up on camera.

Baz threw him off.

For a moment Simon forgot.

 **“Make a wish!”** Baz shouted.

Simon remembered suddenly they were filming.

He threw his hands on Baz.

 **“Make a wish!”** Baz shouted again.

The special effects time snuffed the fire out with a pop and then it was silent.

“Cut!” Ebb shouted.

Simon shook his head, trying to come back to himself.

“That was great everyone,” Ebb said.

Simon looked over at Baz. His grey eyes were alive with the fire that had already gone out around them.


	12. The Walls Come Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) idk how but I was able to update faster this week lol. This chapter is definitely NSFW, so if that's an issue for you then this is your heads up. For those who are comfortable with and able to read it, I hope you enjoy! <3

**Simon**

They were done filming the forest scenes by one in the morning. Simon was exhausted, but more than that he couldn’t stop thinking about Baz. They had kissed for several takes, just to make sure the crew had enough film to work with. It had left Simon full of feelings and no avenue for release. He would never be able to kiss Baz outside of the scenes for the movie, a realization that had burned through him with every take. It was almost torture kissing him and knowing it wasn’t real and it never would be.

He was putting on his jacket and grabbing his keys when Baz approached him.

“What are you doing?” Baz asked.

“Going to bed,” Simon said, careful not to look him in the eyes.

“You don’t want to share a ride back to the hotel?”

Simon couldn’t tell him the truth; that the idea of spending the night on the same hotel floor after all that had happened was painful.

“I don’t live that far from here,” Simon muttered.

Baz raised his eyebrows.

“Snow you live an hour and a half away from here and it’s one in the morning,” He said.

Simon started walking to his car.

“So?” He asked.

Baz grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around. The pressure sent a thrill through Simon’s stomach and into his heart.

“So it doesn’t make any sense. You’ll fall asleep at the wheel,” Baz said.

Simon eyed Baz’s frowning mouth.

“Trust me when I saw that tonight falling asleep at the wheel is impossible,” Simon said.

Baz’s jaw hardened.

“So you’re not going back to the hotel? No matter what I say?” Baz asked.

“Exactly,” Simon said.

Baz strode over to the passenger side and threw the door open, his expression smug.

“Then I’m coming with you,” He said.

Simon felt his heart stop.

“What?” He asked.

“I’ll stay at your place tonight. That way I’ll know you got home all right,” Baz said.

Simon just stared at him.

“Is there a problem? I’ve stayed at your place a bunch of times,” Baz said.

Simon shook his head, feeling defeated.

“Get in you stubborn arse,” Simon said.

**Baz**

Snow hadn't been kidding when he’d said he wouldn’t fall asleep at the wheel. His face was as tense as Baz had ever seen it. He watched as Snow alternated from chewing his tongue to biting his lip. It was stressful just watching him drive. Baz had no idea what had set Snow off so much.

Well, he had _one_ idea.

Since the kissing scenes Snow had been acting stiff with Baz, barely talking to him. Baz wondered if Snow had realized how into the kiss he’d been, and was uncomfortable now as a result. He hoped that wasn’t it. No matter his feelings, Baz didn’t want to lose the easy camaraderie that they’d tentatively built over the course of their investigation.

He wondered if it had actually been a smart idea to demand to stay at Snow’s flat. He couldn’t get the feeling of Snow’s lips out of his head and spending a night in his home certainly wouldn’t help any of that. Still, he’d been too concerned about Snow and too determined to prove that everything between them was still okay to drop the idea.

When they got to the flat Snow didn’t say anything, he just let them into the house and started to walk off towards his bedroom.

“Snow,” Baz said.

Snow didn’t stop walking and didn’t react.

“Simon,” Baz said.

After a moment Snow stopped and turned back to look at him.

“What Baz?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Baz asked.

Snow worked his jaw around, eyes unreadable.

“I wanted to be alone tonight. But you couldn’t take the hint, could you?”

That made Baz flinch. The sound of Snow’s voice was tight and cold, a painful lash against his feelings.

“If the kiss made you mad just say it,” Baz said, looking down.

Snow made a strange noise.

_“What?”_

“Look, I shared my sexuality with you in confidence. It wasn’t a come on, and if you don’t want me like that…I’m not going to push it.”

There was silence.

“I’m not mad about the kiss. Just…I need to go to sleep,” Snow said.

Baz strode forward.

“I just want to talk about whatever it is that’s wrong.“

“No you don’t,” Snow said.

He’d turned away from him, giving Baz a view of his back.

“You hate me don’t you? That’s what you’ve always told me,” Snow said.

“If you still believe that then you’re an idiot,” Baz said.

Snow turned, eyes warm in a way that made Baz’s abdomen clench painfully.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Snow said.

“Simon what-“

Snow leaned forward, gently. Baz froze, not sure what was about to happen.

Tentatively Snow pressed his lips onto Baz’s.

It was a soft touch of lips and then gone altogether.

Snow looked at him, his eyes asking for permission to go further.

Baz nodded.

He watched Snow’s expression change from uncertainty to need, his eyes burning in a way Baz had never seen before. He gasped as Snow rushed forward and kissed him, hard.

It was difficult in that moment to stand, to breath, to do anything else except kiss Snow back.

He felt it as his back hit the wall of the hallway, Snow’s body weight pressing him into it. Baz pushed his own hands greedily into the buttons of Snow’s shirt, opening them carelessly.

Snow broke away for a moment to catch his breath.

“No,” Baz protested, “Come back. Kiss me again.”

Snow’s breath was ragged.

“Kiss me,” Baz breathed.

And then Snow did kiss him, and Baz could sense the sundering of Snow’s self control in it. He opened Baz’s mouth, his tongue desperate. Baz groaned, wondering why he’d never asked for this before, why he’d doubted Snow. It was obvious now that Snow felt the same way; that he’d felt the same way for a while now.

The kisses were messy, as if neither of them cared very much about being practiced. They’d had enough of that on set.

Baz finally found the last button on Snow’s shirt and ripped it off of him, marveling at the moles and muscles exposed.

“I want you,” Baz breathed.

Then Baz moved forward, hands following the planes of Snow’s torso.

“If we go too fast, it’ll be over too quickly,” Snow panted.

Baz smirked.

“Then we’ll go slow,” He said.

Before Snow could reply he kissed the soft spot of his neck, right above a mole. Baz felt a burst of heat at the strangled noise Snow made in response. Slowly, he rolled Snow into the wall and pressed him there. Then he bit, just a nip at first.

“Baz…”

“Want me to stop?”

“God no,” Snow said.

He kissed the spot deeper, playing with the skin there until he felt Snow was reasonably riled up. Then he bit him, _hard_.

Snow gasped and grabbed the back of Baz’s head, pushing him deeper.

Then Baz moved away and kissed Snow, unable to resist anymore. Snow’s mouth was almost slack, his tongue seeking Baz’s desperately. Baz felt a rush, _Simon Snow wanted him back_.

“We don’t have t-to do this yet. Not if you’re not ready,” Snow said.

Baz had waited his whole life to find someone that he could feel this way with. He’d held back for the media, held back for his father, and even held back for the memory of his mother. But now that he’d found exactly who he’d been looking for, he didn’t want to hold back any longer.

“I’m ready, if you are,” Baz said.

Snow nodded.

They kissed as they backed into Snow’s bedroom.

Baz felt the edge of the bed hit the inside of his kneecaps. Without hesitation, he pulled them down on it, barely breaking the kiss.

Snow had Baz’s sweater off quickly, not having to deal with the annoying buttons Baz had troubled over on Snow’s shirt. And then his hand smoothed Baz’s skin down from his collarbone to his waistline. Baz ‘s breath shuddered out of him.

“I’ve never done this before,” Snow whispered.

“I know,” Baz said, slightly nervous, “Neither have I.”

“Go by instinct then?” Snow asked.

“Shut up and kiss me you dolt,” Baz said.

Snow needed no more directive than that. In an instant he moved on top of Baz, kissing him while he gripped his side.

After a few minutes Baz shoved Snow off, desperate for relief from the aching inside of him. He pushed Snow down on the bed and began to take his pants off, cursing Snow for having as temperamental pants as he did shirts.

“Baz what are you doing?”

“Why do your jeans have three buttons on them? Are you trying to torture me?”

When he had them off, he found himself face to face with Snow’s boxers. This was uncharted territory for them. He didn’t want to rush into it, but he wasn’t sure how else to start this. He’d never gotten to this point before with someone, not even while acting on film.

“Baz you don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Baz said.

With no more hesitation, he pulled Snow’s boxers down and gripped the erection hidden underneath.

Snow took in a breath through his clenched teeth, a hiss sounding out of his mouth.

Baz smirked at the sound and put his mouth over the erection. He was a little nervous; after all he’d never done something like this, what if his teeth got in the way? But eventually he found a rhythm that worked.

Snow was by no means loud, nothing like the sex scenes Baz had filmed with costars before. But whenever he did make a small noise, the sound of it zipped through Baz like a current.

“Baz if you don’t stop I’m going to-“

“I know,” Baz said.

He didn’t care. He wanted this, wanted Simon Snow more than anything else in the world.

He moved back to where he’d been.

**Simon**

Simon was embarrassed. He couldn’t control his breathing, and he was pretty sure his hips were moving in tandem with Baz’s mouth. But he couldn’t help it. He’d never felt anything like this before, and whenever he remembered who it was that was doing it to him, it almost sent him over the edge.

“Baz if you don’t stop I’m going to-“

“I know,” Baz said.

Simon felt the sensation rip through him as Baz went back to what he’d been doing. The idea of finishing in Baz’s mouth was equal parts arousing and terrifying. What if, when it was over, Baz called him disgusting and left? But then his body was reacting and none of it mattered anymore.

He felt the orgasm like an earthquake in his body. The epicenter, where Baz’s mouth was, was so intense Simon almost couldn’t handle it. He cried out and gripped the bed, stopping himself from pushing his hands into Baz’s raven dark hair. It was too much. He felt empty and full all in the same moment.

As it started to ebb away Simon watched Baz grimace slightly as he pulled away and swallowed. Before he could be embarrassed about it though, Baz sidled up to him and poised his mouth over him tentatively.

“Can I?” Baz asked.

“Yes,” Simon said.

Baz kissed him. Simon didn’t care that he was kissing him after what had just happened. In fact, he was glad Baz did. He felt reassured that Baz wasn’t grossed out by him and the sweet kiss made the after effects of his orgasm rock pleasantly through him.

“Your turn,” Simon said.

Baz stared at him.

“Snow you don’t have to do that-“

“I like it when you call me Simon better,” He said.

Baz smiled.

“Okay then. Simon you don’t need to do it.”

“I want to.”

He kissed Baz, pressing him into the pillows.

Slowly he kissed his way down to Baz’s happy trail, enjoying the small noises of happiness Baz made along the way. He took Baz’s jeans off, and then took his boxers off.

He moved the way Baz had, placing his mouth over his erection. Baz made an inarticulate noise. Simon _had_ wanted to do this. The noises and reactions Baz was making were enough to make Simon’s stomach clench, his body reawakening underneath him.

Baz put his hands in Simon’s hair, urging him forward. Simon had to stop himself from breaking away, wanting to kiss Baz deeply. Instead he focused that energy into what he was doing.

“Simon…”

He couldn’t believe he was here.

“Simon I’m going to.”

Here with Baz.

“Simon!”

As Baz shattered, orgasm pulsing, Simon felt the image echo through him. He wanted to do this again, to do it as many times as he could. There was nothing more important in that moment than the image of Baz against the bed and calling out his name.

He curled up against Baz and pulled him into his arms. Baz turned and settled into the crook of Simon’s neck, even though it meant his feet dangled slightly off the edge of the bed.

“That was…”

“I know,” Simon said.

Baz kissed him, gently this time.

“See? I don’t hate you,” Baz said.

Simon blinked, somewhat dazed, and then laughed when he realized what Baz was talking about.

“You’re such a prat.”

“But you like it,” Baz said.

Simon kissed Baz’s nose.

“Yeah, I do.”

Baz smiled, a real smile without any of the sarcasm or hint of mockery that was usually present.

“We need to go to bed,” Baz said.

“Yeah,” Simon agreed.

“Talk more in the morning?” Baz murmured, already closing his eyes.

“Mmm,” Simon murmured.

He fell into a deep sleep almost immediately, feeling happier with Baz in his arms than he had in a very long time.


	13. Scrambled Eggs and Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I AM SO SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG!!! I was super caught up in midterms and NaNoWriMo that I haven't been able to update until now. I'm a mess. Hopefully you all like this chapter <3 I can't promise that my updates will be happening faster (as I'm still doing NaNoWriMo and then the Carry On Countdown starts in like ten days) but I WILL be updating. Thank you everyone for your patience! Also this chapter is slightly NSFW but nothing too major.

**Simon**

He was awake but trying his best not to move. At some point in the night Baz had rolled on top of him and was currently snuggled onto his chest. Simon didn’t want to wake him, didn’t ever want to make him move. Baz’s black hair was spread out across his chest, like spilt ink on a piece of paper. Simon couldn’t stop himself from looking, from studying Baz in the weak morning light.

They’d had sex. That _had_ to have meant something. It had certainly meant something to Simon, a whole lot of something. It had been Simon’s first time doing anything like that, and he knew that he was never going to forget it, regardless of what happened next. He was afraid of that, what was going to happen next. He wasn’t sure what Baz would do when he woke up and remembered what had happened.

Simon felt Baz twitch and then stir, slowly becoming animated again. Simon tensed, unsure of Baz’s reaction.

Baz murmured something indecipherable into Simon’s chest.

“What?” Simon said.

“Good morning,” Baz breathed.

Then he was kissing Simon’s chest. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to send Simon’s chest flying. He laughed and brought Baz’s face up to his own, kissing him properly.

“I was afraid you’d turn on me when you woke up,” Simon said.

Baz draped one of his legs over Simon’s thigh, almost fully on top of him now.

“You’re stupid. But in a cute and admirable sort of way,” Baz said, smiling.

Simon felt high on Baz’s smiles.

“You’re in a good mood,” Simon said.

“I should think so,” Baz said, “I had sex with _the_ Simon Snow.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“London’s most eligible bachelor,” Baz continued, voice teasing.

“Stop,” Simon said.

“Cinema’s new crown jewel,” Baz crooned.

Simon leaned forward and bit Baz’s lip, gently.

“If you don’t stop, I’ll find a more creative way to shut you up,” Simon said.

“Oh please do,” Baz said.

Simon pushed his fingers through Baz’s hair and pulled himself up to kiss him, really kiss him. It was a slow, warm kiss, filled with all of the happiness Simon had felt upon waking up with Baz in his arms.

Then he heard Baz’s stomach growl.

He moved away, grinning.

“C’mon, let’s make some breakfast.”

Simon kissed Baz’s nose and then walked out of bed. He heard a small noise from behind him. Whirling, he found Baz was staring at him with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

Baz’s cheeks went red.

“I uh, didn’t really get a good look at you last night is all.”

Simon suddenly realized that he was standing naked, in broad daylight, in front of Baz. They’d been naked last night of course but they’d also been a bit too preoccupied to pay attention to detail.

“Like what you see?” Simon asked.

Baz was the one to roll his eyes this time.

“No, I only slept with you out of pity,” He quipped, getting out of bed himself.

Simon didn’t pretend to look away. He ran his eyes over Baz’s body, cataloging little details he hadn’t noticed before. Baz threw on his boxer briefs and walked towards the door to the bedroom.

“You coming?” He asked.

Almost reluctantly, Simon put his own boxers on and followed Baz into the kitchen.

“I only have eggs,” Simon said.

“Then eggs it is,” Baz said.

Simon grabbed the egg carton and turned on the stove, buttering the pan. He decided to do a scramble and tossed more than a few eggs in.

“Are the rest of cast and crew joining us?” Baz asked.

“Ha ha, very funny. You’ve seen me eat before. Besides, after last night, I’m hungrier than usual.”

Baz smirked.

“Hm, better use the whole carton in that case.”

It felt good to joke around with Baz, to know that they were in on the joke together instead of making jabs at one another. He wanted to push it a little further, to ask what it was they were, but he was afraid of breaking the spell of their easy conversation.

Once the eggs were done, he handed a plate to Baz wordlessly. He didn’t want to embarrass himself by giving Baz one of his larger than life portions. Baz scooped up what Simon would have considered a regrettably small amount for himself and padded across the kitchen back to the breakfast table. Simon put a heaping mound of eggs onto his own plate and followed him.

“This is all so…ironic,” Baz said.

“What?” Simon asked.

“You. Me. Us. Isn’t this exactly the opposite of how things should have gone, given our past?” Baz asked.

“Oh I don’t know,” Simon said, “You know how that saying goes. There’s a thin line between love and hate and all that. Seems kind of obvious.”

Baz looked away.

“Well, ironic or not, I’m glad it happened,” Baz said.

Simon reached across the table and took Baz’s hand in his own, gently.

“Me too,” He said.

They ate like that, holding hands. It made the whole affair much more difficult than it needed to be but Simon didn’t mind. It was like he just couldn’t stop touching him, looking at him, no matter what he did. Simon had never smoked before, but he imagined it was like this. As soon as he burned through one touch, he reached for another, needing it.

“I have to go to my hotel room,” Baz said once he was done eating.

“Why?” Simon asked.

“I’m supposed to meet my dad there for lunch,” Baz said, “And I’ll need to shower and stuff before I do. So I should go now.”

Simon knew it was stupid and clingy but he didn’t want Baz to leave, not so soon. And besides, what if once Baz had e few hours to himself he decided everything had been a mistake. Simon couldn’t take that.

“You could shower here,” Simon said, hoping his voice didn’t sound too desperate.

Baz snorted.

“We both know how that would go. A five-minute shower would turn into a half hour tryst with you. I have to go back.”

Simon followed Baz back to the bedroom, glumly.

“Will you come back, tonight?” Simon asked.

Baz looked at him.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Of course,” Simon said.

Baz leaned over and kissed him, nearly falling onto his lap as he was also putting on a sock.

“Then I will,” Baz said.

Simon watched as Baz got fully dressed and grabbed all of his stuff. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much to watch him go, it would only be for a couple hours, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that if Baz left, it would be the end of whatever magical thing had happened.

He walked Baz to the door and eyed the cab out on the street level. It didn’t appear that the guy had his camera phone out. Simon scanned the rest of the street quickly. There weren’t any obvious paparazzi out, not that Simon really cared. He never minded much what the press thought of his personal life, and besides, a small part of him wanted the world to know.

He leaned into Baz to kiss him goodbye but Baz flinched and backed away, putting a hand on Simon’s chest.

Simon felt as if Baz had hit him.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

Baz blinked and then looked away.

“Nothing…I just,” Baz paused, “I don’t want this to go public.”

Simon’s mouth went dry.

“Like…ever?” He asked.

Baz frowned.

“Well maybe…I don’t know. Definitely not during filming, or during the premiere,” He said.

Simon couldn’t speak, or move. Baz was talking about sneaking around for months, possibly even for a year depending on how long postproduction took. It should have occurred to him that Baz wouldn’t want to go public with their relationship for a whole mess of tangled reasons. But it hadn’t occurred to him and now he felt sick about the whole thing.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Baz said.

Simon nodded, still unable to speak.

He watched as Baz hurried to the car, not looking back.

Simon had never really wanted to be an actor, it had been more of something his father had thrown him into and he’d gone along with to make him happy. Did he really want to have to play a part in his real life? Acting as if nothing had happened between him and Baz whenever they stepped out into daylight. Eventually Baz might even have them meeting up in anonymously shitty hotels, anything to throw the press off their trail. Meanwhile, Baz would go on pretending something was happening with Agatha for the press while Simon had to watch silently from the sidelines. Could Simon actually do that?

He slumped against the wall inside his flat, pushing his hands over his face.

He wasn’t sure that he could, and the thought broke him.


	14. An Ultimatum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start off by sincerely apologizing for how late this update is. I know I say that a lot and I feel really bad. I was super busy with the Carry On Countdown and I wanted to make sure that this chapter was done right so I decided to wait until I could turn my full attention back to this fic. I'm officially back on this fic though! And I'm feeling more excited than ever to write it. This chapter is a little longer than usual, which I hope makes up a tiny bit for how long I've been gone. I hope you enjoy (also I'd say we're at about the halfway mark of this fic now).

**Baz**

Baz felt especially shitty as he made his way downstairs to the hotel’s steakhouse for lunch with his father.

He’d seen the look on Snow’s face as he’d left. It was as if a starburst of pain had exploded in his eyes. Snow had looked utterly destroyed standing there only in his boxers in his open doorway.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go public with Snow. The idea of going on dates to nice restaurants and going to watch old classic movies playing on the weekend made Baz want to grin like an idiot. But it wouldn’t just be them. The whole world would be on a date with them, or a big part of the world at the very least.

The idea of coming out to the rest of his family and friends was hard enough. He couldn’t even think about what it would mean to come out to all of his fans. He knew it would probably mean a lot to them. In fact, he was pretty sure the Carry On fandom would explode with happiness. But he didn’t want the pressure from them, the weight of being just like the fictional couple. And he was afraid of how they would look at them together. Would the fans see them as Simon and Baz? Or would they become characters themselves, only important for their fans’ amusement?

And then there was the matter of people who _weren’t_ his fans, the people who would hate him for who he was. He didn’t know if he was ready for the amount of hate messages, comments, and tweets he would receive. He didn’t want to handle the weight of that responsibility.

And on top of everything else there was the matter of his career. Coming out as a gay actor meant that his career would change, no matter what. Interviewers would change their tactics, casting directors would study him with new eyes, and he’d have absolutely no control over it.

Not only would he be coming out if he dated Snow publicly, he’d also be openly going back on everything he’d ever said about the Snows since his mother died. He wasn’t sure if he could handle betraying his mother’s memory so publicly.

He saw his father sitting in the middle of the restaurant. Apparently he’d ordered the entire place be cleared for them because there was no one else sitting in the dining area of the five star steak house. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Father,” Baz said evenly.

He sat down and chanced a glance at his father’s expression.

And immediately regretted it. His face was a mask of sadness and fury all wrapped into one.

“Tyrannus,” he said, deadly quiet.

His father _never_ called him that, which meant something was very, very wrong.

“I-“

His father cut him off.

“I received this photo about thirty minutes ago. Care to explain?”

Baz looked down at his father’s extended hand and studied his phone screen.

It was a close up shot of Baz and Snow. He had no idea how someone had managed such a quality photo from such a secure building. The photographer must have had to hang off someone’s balcony just to get the shot. It was a photo taken only hours earlier in the morning of Snow kissing him on his way out. The photo did not show Baz’s reaction or the pain that would follow in Snow’s eyes. It only showed Baz very clearly kissing Simon Snow, clad only in his boxers, and leaving his apartment in the early hours of the morning.

“Is it public?” Baz asked, his stomach a pit of dread.

His father growled.

“No,” he said, “Thankfully not. He was the only photographer to get the shot, as far as he knows. He followed you from set last night and watched all night.”

“Freak,” Baz said, disgusted once more with the paparazzi.

His father’s cheeks went red with anger.

“That is _not_ the point. I had to pay a small fortune to get this photo and to make sure it was actually erased on his end. I cannot do this all the time.”

Baz bit his lip.

“It was an accident, Simon didn’t know-“

His father’s upper lip curled in disgust.

“Oh so he’s _Simon_ now?”

Baz said nothing.

“I was willing to overlook you sleeping with him. Fucking the son of the man who ruined your mother’s legacy is disgraceful, even for you, but lust can be overcome once it’s satisfied. Falling for him though? I can’t even look at you right now.”

Baz felt tears sting his eyes, more from anger than sadness.

“It’s not his fault,” he whispered.

_“Excuse me?”_ his father pressed, leaning forward.

Baz glared up at him.

“I said,” Baz continued, shaking, “It’s not his fault! He had nothing to do with David Snow’s smear campaign and he knows what his father did was wrong. He’s told me so!”

His father narrowed his eyes.

“Was that before or after you slept with him?”

Baz actually recoiled, swinging back like he’d been hit.

“You let an attractive man charm you and now he has leverage over you. At _any_ point in time he can go to the press and give a tell all about what happened between you two. I don’t care if it was the most beautiful de-virginizing in the history of love-making, our reputation as a family is so destroyed that Simon Snow can say practically whatever he wants and nothing you say will matter, especially not with this photo.”

Baz clenched his teeth together, grinding them so that the dull noise quieted the painful flashes in his head.

“He’s not like that,” Baz said, “You don’t understand.”

His father leaned forward.

“No Basilton,” his father said, _“You_ don’t understand. You think just because he likes you right now that it will last and he will keep to his word. But this isn’t a fucking Nicholas Sparks novel. This is real life, and you are an actor for Christ’s sake. Every relationship you have will have to be monitored and managed carefully, because shit happens and a spurned lover is the worst kind of press there is.”

Baz couldn’t help but gape at his father.

“Are you trying to tell me,” he said, “That you and mom were like that?”

His father’s eyes went cold.

“Yes, for a while anyways,” he said, “Privacy is rare for celebrities, which means intimacy is hard won. Your mother and I felt the same about that.”

“I’m not like that,” Baz said, “I can’t just ignore what I feel.”

His father studied him and his expression softened just the slightest.

“I know. And I love that about you. But it’s going to get you hurt.”

“Dad-“

“Listen to me, this is important. I understand that I’ve been unfair to you, pressuring you to fake relationships with your female costars. And I’ve realized that as scary as the future might be with you coming out, well that’s your decision to make and we can handle it together.”

Baz stayed silent.

“So go out with a nice guy, someone who’s not going to cause a huge family scandal,” his father said, “Anyone other than Simon bloody Snow.”

At that moment food arrived at their table. Baz hadn’t even had a chance to open his menu but his father had obviously ordered for the both of them earlier. The waiter announced two sirloin steaks served medium rare before setting them down.

“Ah,” his father said, “Perfect.”

Baz didn’t bother telling him that it wasn’t what he’d wanted.

**Simon**

Simon fidgeted nervously in the hotel elevator.

He’d received a phone call from Baz a little while ago, asking him to come to his hotel as soon as he could. Simon had asked what was going on but Baz had only replied with, “Please, just come. Please.” It had been enough to send Simon to his hotel without so much as a glance in the mirror to see if he looked okay. Part of him thought that maybe Baz was going to tell him that last night had been a fluke and that he wasn’t interested in Simon any longer. Another part of him had no idea what it could be.

When he arrived at Baz’s door he paused.

He had to decide in that moment how he was going to handle it if Baz told him they couldn’t see each other anymore. Obviously he would have to try to be professional at work but did that mean he could never talk to Baz in the way that he’d become so comfortable doing? And what would happen to the investigation of his father? No, if Baz broke things off Simon was willing to ask if they could stay friends. He couldn’t stand the idea of losing him completely.

With his decision made, he knocked on the door.

Baz opened it almost immediately without saying a word.

Simon froze, all thoughts of his own feelings evaporating instantly.

The skin underneath Baz’s eyes was puffy and red, like he’d been crying for a good amount of time. His cheeks were shiny in some places too, as if he hadn’t bothered to wipe away the tears as they’d fallen down his cheeks.

“Baz-“

“Shut up,” Baz growled.

He grabbed Simon by the shirtfront and pulled him into the room, slamming the door behind him.

The room was almost completely dark. Baz had the curtains closed and all of the lights were off.

Baz pushed him roughly up against the door and kissed him.

Simon kissed him back, feeling helpless to stop either of them from whatever it was that was happening. But the kisses were different from last night. It wasn’t the happy, desperate exploration it had been from the night before, but instead a choking ache, like Baz was trying to fill a hole that could never be fixed by kissing Simon.

“Baz what’s going on?” Simon asked when they came up for air.

Baz ignored him and started kissing his neck.

Simon lost his train of thought for a little while.

Even though he knew something was wrong, it was hard not to give in to the intensity of Baz’s kisses and his touch. Everything with Baz was still so new to Simon that he found it difficult not to be completely immersed in him. But he knew he had to stop if he wanted to find out what was going on.

“Baz stop,” Simon said, gently.

Baz stopped moving.

“Do you not want me or something?” Baz asked, his voice unsteady.

Simon made a noise of disgust.

“How could you…? You know that’s not it. Something is wrong and I don’t want you to use this as a way to avoid telling me about it.”

Baz didn’t say anything for a moment.

Then he threw himself off Simon, growling.

“Someone took a photo of us earlier.”

Simon didn’t respond, unsure of what Baz meant.

“When you kissed me outside your door,” Baz clarified, flatly.

Simon sucked in a breath.

“Oh god,” he said, “Has it gone public yet?”

Simon didn’t really mind if it did. But he knew Baz minded and that was enough to make his stomach snap with anxiety.

“No,” Baz said, sounding tired, “My dad bought them off.”

Simon felt a wave of relief before a new wave of anxiety hit. He didn’t know what to make of Malcolm Grimm knowing about them but he was sure it couldn’t be good.

“My father…well, let’s just say he had some choice words for me earlier.”

Simon took a step forward and ran his hand down Baz’s back.

“Don’t listen to him,” he said.

Baz’s grey eyes swung up to meet him, almost black in the low light.

“I’m _trying_ not to,” Baz said.

Simon realized what this whole thing had been about at that moment. Baz needed to get his mind off of everything but he also wanted to keep seeing Simon, regardless of what his father had said. He felt used but he also felt appreciated. It was a confusing combination.

“I just…I don’t want you to use this as a way to avoid your shit,” Simon said.

Baz snorted, coldly.

“And what else would you prefer I do? _Talk_ to you?”

Simon frowned.

“Well, yeah. Why not?”

Baz looked away.

“You don’t want to talk about it, trust me.”

“Of course I do.”

Simon came up behind him and began kissing Baz’s neck. It was the softest skin Simon had ever touched, he was sure of it, and tasted vaguely minty. Simon wondered if Baz wore a lotion or something, maybe it was just him.

“I’m so happy for you, that you decided to not give in to your dad’s idea about ending things.”

When he went back to kiss down Baz’s shoulder he felt his stance change.

In that moment he took in the tense arrangement of Baz’s shoulders and realized something.

“Baz…why did you ask me to come here?”

Baz didn’t turn to face him.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Simon felt like everything he’d feared would happen this morning was coming true all at once.

He backed away from Baz slowly.

“You were supposed to come over to my flat tonight. Why didn’t you just come over?”

“Simon…”

Simon felt his stomach dip nauseously.

“You said you were trying not to listen to him. What, did you just lie to me?"

“I am trying!” Baz yelled, “Can’t you see? He didn’t ever want me to see you again. He says us going public could ruin our family.”

Simon jerked back.

“What? Because you’re gay?”

Baz finally turned and looked him straight in the eye.

“No,” he said, “Because of your dad.”

Simon clenched his jaw, tired of this old fight happening again and again. The only difference was that this time he was afraid of how this would end and his heart was beating rapidly from his nervousness.

“Baz,” he said, “I told you I was sorry. I’ve done everything I can to try and make up for a mistake that I never even made.”

Baz huffed, expression anguished.

“Simon,” he said, “Do you really think I don’t know that? Do you think I’d let you touch me if I seriously thought you had anything to do with that?”

Simon felt tears rolling down his face.

“Then _why_ Baz? Why are you listening to him!”

Simon saw that they were finally at the brink of what Baz hadn’t wanted to face when Simon had gotten in the hotel room.

_“Because he’s all I have left!”_

The words came out in a shout.

Baz was breathing heavy and Simon couldn’t speak.

“He, my siblings, my aunt and my stepmom…they’re what I’ve got. I can’t risk it, even if that means keeping you a secret.”

Baz strode forward, grabbing Simon’s hands.

“Don’t you see? We could make this work. If we just get rooms next to each other for the rest of filming and we act more careful it’ll be fine. This morning we were…distracted. It was the first time, we won’t make that mistake again.”

Simon swallowed painfully. It felt like there was a lump of anger, sadness, and betrayal swarming in his throat, trying to choke him.

“You say you can’t risk your family,” Simon said, “That the scandal of dating me, because of my father’s idiotic mistakes, would destroy it.”

Baz nodded, eyes pleading. Simon withdrew his hands softly.

“But you’d have me risk everything?” Simon asked, tears in his eyes, “My father is literally the only family I have left. I don’t have siblings, I don’t have a loving aunt, _I don’t have a mother either.”_

Baz looked like he finally understood what Simon was seeing.

“Simon it’s not…that’s not-“

Simon shook his head.

“He’s all I have and I was willing to do whatever it took to make things right for your family, even if that meant sacrificing him. _And you encouraged me to do it.”_

“My father never attacked your family!” Baz said, not angry necessarily but not happy either.

“No,” Simon said, “He only attacked me.”

Baz flinched.

“I want this with you Baz,” Simon said, “Christ I think I want this more than anything I’ve ever wanted.”

Baz shook his head.

“Then let’s do it,” Baz said, “Let’s be together. Why do you need this? Why can’t we just have this all to ourselves without the rest of the world watching?”

Simon grabbed his discarded jacket off of the floor.

“Because I can’t do _this,”_ Simon gestured to the dark room, “I can’t be happy with just a part of you.”

Baz clenched his fists.

“Don’t do this,” he said.

The pain in his voice almost made Simon give in. Half of him was screaming that he was making the worst mistake of his life, that surely some of Baz was better than none of Baz. Hadn’t he just been thinking that before Baz had opened the hotel door?

“You used me today,” Simon said, “To avoid dealing with whatever shit your dad put on you. And you tried to trick me. I can’t do it Baz. I’m sorry.”

He left Baz there, standing silently and hunched.

And then he walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him, trying to hold himself together enough to make it to the valet station for his car without breaking down completely.


End file.
